Kid: I’ll call you later. Dad: No, call me Dad.

Kid: Dad, can you put the cat out? Dad: I didn’t know it was on fire.

Kid: I’m cold. Dad: Then go sit in the corner—it’s 90 degrees!

Dad: Is anyone here capable of putting their shoes on in a timely manner? Kid: I am. Dad: Nice to meet you, Capable of Putting… Read More »Dad: Is anyone here capable of…

Kid: Dad, can you make me a sandwich? Dad: Poof! You’re a sandwich.

Restaurant Server: Do you want a box for your leftovers? Dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.

Kid: What’s that? Dad: It’s a henweigh. Kid: What’s a henweigh? Dad: About two pounds.

Kid: Dad, how do I look? Dad: With your eyes.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying? A: Because he Neverlands!

Q: Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt? A: It’s a big waist of space!