52 Kids Jokes: The 1995 “Tamagotchi & Playground” Edition

In 1995, the pinnacle of technology was the colorful Game Boy, and the biggest tragedy was the death of your virtual pet because you forgot to feed it during math class. It was the year of Toy Story, the birth of Goosebumps, and the era when jokes were told between rounds of “Pogsy.”

The 1995 Top 10: The “Lunchbox Classics”

1. The Toy Story Vibe: Why was Buzz Lightyear so good at math? Because he could count to infinity… and beyond!
2. The Dial-Up Struggle: Why did the kid bring a pillow to the computer? Because his 14.4k modem told him: “Please wait, I’m tired.”
3. The Tamagotchi Tragedy: Why did the Tamagotchi go to school? To improve its “bit-ter” grades before its battery ran out.
4. The Pager Problem: Why did the schoolboy put his pager in the fridge? He wanted to receive some “cool” messages.
5. The Goosebumps Fever: Why don’t skeletons ever trick-or-treat? Because they have “no-body” to go with (and R.L. Stine already trapped them in a book).
6. The Power Rangers Moment: Which Power Ranger is the best at cleaning? The White Ranger, because he’s always “Alpha” and tidy.
7. The Lion King Legacy: Why don’t you ever play cards in the jungle? Because there are too many “cheetahs” (and Mufasa is always watching).
8. The Windows 95 Launch: Why did the computer squeak? Because someone forgot to grease the “mouse.”
9. The Macarena Craze: Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems and it didn’t know how to do the Macarena to forget them.
10. The Space Jam Hype: Why did Michael Jordan bring a ladder to the movie set? He heard the Looney Tunes wanted to reach a “new high.”

The Full 1995 Kids Archive

11. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything? A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
12. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
13. What’s a librarian’s favorite color? “Read.”
14. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was feeling “crumb-y.”
15. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
16. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
17. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
18. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
19. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A “Zzz-rex.”
20. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
21. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
22. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
23. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An “irrelephant.”
24. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little “boogey” in it.
25. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was “two-tired.”
26. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
27. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
28. What do you call a dog that does magic? A “labracadabrador.”
29. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.
30. What falls but never gets hurt? Snow.
31. Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
32. What do you call a fake noodle? An “impasta.”
33. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted “cold, hard cash.”
34. What do you call a belt with a clock on it? A waist of time.
35. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
36. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
37. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
38. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A “fsh.”
39. Why did the math teacher go to the beach? To find some “tangents.”
40. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
41. Why did the belt go to jail? Because it held up a pair of pants.
42. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A “head-banger.”
43. Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
44. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
45. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
46. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
47. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will “Let It Go.” (Wait, that’s from the future! Let’s say: Because she’ll freeze the air inside).
48. What do you call a pile of kittens? A “mew-ntain.”
49. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
50. What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
51. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
52. What is a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling.