50 Kids Jokes: The 1999 “Y2K Bug & Pokémania” Edition

In 1999, the ultimate flex was a holographic Charizard card and a translucent pager. We were all wondering if Neo took the red pill or the blue pill, and why Jar Jar Binks talked like that. It was the end of a millennium, and we were ready to party like it was… well, exactly 1999.

The 1999 Top 10: The “Millennium Countdown”

The Y2K Panic: Why did the computer stay up all night on December 31st? It was afraid it would wake up as a calculator in 1900.
The SpongeBob Debut: Why is SpongeBob so good at sports? Because he’s always “soaking” up the competition!
The Matrix Moment: Why did Neo cross the road? Because he realized there is no road.
The Phantom Menace: Why did Jar Jar Binks cross the road? Because he was “mesa” confused about where the sidewalk was.
The Toy Story 2 Fever: Why was Buzz Lightyear so good at school? Because he always went “above and beyond.”
The Pokémon Movie: Why did Mewtwo go to the gym? To work on his “psychic” (physique).
The Britney Spears Hit: Why did the teacher keep repeating the lesson? Because she said: “Oops… I did it again!”
The Tarzan Slide: Why was Tarzan so good at the internet? He was the first one to “surf” the vines.
The iMac Colors: Why did the kid paint his dog blue and see-through? He wanted a “Bondi Blue” iDog to match his computer.
The Sixth Sense Twist: Why was the ghost kid so good at hide and seek? Because he could see “dead people”… and they were all hiding in the closet.

The Full 1999 Kids Archive

What do you call a dinosaur that’s a loud sleeper? A Tyranno-snore-us.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had too many “windows” open and caught a draft.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.
What do you call a dog that does magic? A Labracadabrador.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A mew-ntain.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A Zzz-rex.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
Why did the spider get a job on the internet? He was a great web designer.
What do you call a duck that’s a firecracker? A fire-quacker.
Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work over-time.
What do you call a cow that plays guitar? A moo-sician.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
What do you call a snowman with a sunburn? A puddle.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To rattle some bones.
What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
Why did the boy put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.