82 Animal Jokes: The Ever Given & Squid Game Protocol (2021)

Welcome to 2021. The year we all learned way too much about the global supply chain because a boat got stuck in a ditch, Bernie Sanders became the king of cozy fashion in his mittens, and a South Korean show made us terrified of giant dolls and playground games. The animal kingdom is officially trying to “mint” itself as an NFT.

The 2021 Top 10: Animal Kingdom Classics

1. What happened when the Golden Retriever sat down next to Bernie Sanders at the January 2021 inauguration? He looked at Bernie’s oversized patterned mittens and immediately assumed they were two giant, fuzzy squirrels that had finally surrendered and accepted their fate. The dog spent the entire ceremony waiting for the mittens to make a sudden move, only to realize that, like Bernie himself, they were just there to stay warm and pay attention to the “pomp and circumstance” while looking like they’d rather be at the post office.
2. Why did the house cat become a logistical expert during the Suez Canal blockage in March 2021? She watched the Ever Given cargo ship get wedged between the banks and felt a deep sense of professional kinship, noting that she has been “blocking the hallway” and “preventing all traffic to the kitchen” for years using nothing but her own body and a refusal to move. She eventually offered to help the Egyptian authorities by “swiping” at the bow of the ship until it either moved or she got bored and went to sleep.
3. How did the farm dog react to the global Squid Game phenomenon in late 2021? He spent the rest of the year terrified of his owner’s voice, convinced that every time they said “Red Light, Green Light” during a walk, a giant, terrifying doll with motion sensors was about to appear from behind a tree. He eventually mastered the art of staying perfectly still, not because he wanted the prize money, but because he was pretty sure the “Elimination” involved a bath and an early bedtime.
4. Why was the owl so skeptical about the “NFT” (Non-Fungible Token) craze in 2021? He argued that paying $500,000 for a digital receipt of a JPEG of a bored ape was the final proof that humanity had officially “lost the plot.” “I have actual, tangible feathers that reflect light in 4K,” the owl hooted, “and you’re telling me that a ‘blockchain’ makes a pixelated bird more valuable than a real one that can actually catch a mouse? Call me when your NFT can fly.”
5. What did the squirrel think about the “Billionaire Space Race” between Bezos and Branson in 2011? He watched the blue rockets launch and concluded that if a human needs a billion dollars and a combustion engine to reach the edge of the atmosphere for eleven minutes, they’re clearly over-engineering the problem. “I reach the canopy of a 100-foot oak tree in twelve seconds using nothing but claw-power and a high-speed adrenaline rush,” the squirrel noted, “and I don’t even need a cowboy hat to look cool doing it.”
6. How did the house cat react to the “Bernie Sanders Mittens” meme taking over the internet? She spent the rest of the winter sitting in a tiny folding chair in the corner of the living room, wearing a blue surgical mask and looking “grumpy” just to prove that she could be a mega-meme without even trying. She eventually decided that Bernie’s “Practical Brown Coat” was actually the peak of high fashion, mostly because it looked like it was made of high-quality, scratchable material.
7. Why did the dog bark at the TV during the Spider-Man: No Way Home premiere? He couldn’t understand how three different Peter Parkers could be in the same room without any of them sniffing each other to verify their identities. He eventually decided that the “Multiverse” was just a fancy way of explaining why he sometimes finds a bone in the yard that he’s 100% sure he already ate in a previous timeline.
8. What did the hamster say when his owner tried to explain the concept of the “Metaverse” in late 2021? “So, you want me to wear a heavy headset and live in a virtual world where I can interact with digital friends and buy ‘land’ that doesn’t exist? I’ve been living in a 24-inch plastic cage with a cardboard tube and a silent wheel for six months—I’m already in a ‘Metaverse,’ and the graphics are surprisingly realistic.”
9. Why was the cow so confused by the “Milk Crate Challenge” in the summer of 2021? She watched humans stack plastic crates and try to walk across them, only to fall spectacularly onto the grass, and concluded that people were finally trying to understand the physical struggle of being a four-legged animal. “If you want to know what it’s like to have hooves and a high center of gravity,” she mooed, “just ask; you don’t need to risk your spine for a TikTok like.”
10. How did the dog react to the “Vaccine Passport” discussions of 2021? He sat by the front door with his “Rabies Tag” jingling on his collar, looking at his owner with a smug expression. “Welcome to my world, Dave,” the dog’s eyes seemed to say, “I’ve had to show my ‘credentials’ just to enter the dog park since 2015—now you know how it feels to be a ‘Good Boy’ with a verified health status.”

The Full 2021 Animal Archive (Extended List)

11. Why did the cat join the “Ever Given” crew? To see if they needed someone to push the ship “off the edge.”
12. What’s a dog’s favorite 2021 movie? Cruella (He liked the Dalmatians, but felt they were misrepresented).
13. Why did the parrot love Squid Game? He liked the “Green Light” sound (It reminded him of his dinner bell).
14. What do you call a sheep with an NFT? “A Crypto-lamb.”
15. Why did the squirrel like 2021? Because “Windows 11” launched and he liked the centered taskbar (It looked like a balanced branch).
16. What’s an ant’s favorite 2021 movie? Dune (He relates to the “Spice” and the sand).
17. Why did the cat hate the “Suez Canal” blockage? It delayed her shipment of premium Japanese catnip.
18. What do you call a fish in Squid Game? “An Eliminated-gill.”
19. Why did the dog bark at the “Airtag” (launched 2021)? He thought his collar was finally starting to talk back.
20. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 song? “Drivers License” (Olivia Rodrigo… but she’s driving to the meadow).
21. Why did the pig use “Coinbase”? To check his “Hog-coins.”
22. What do you call a cloned sheep with an NFT? “Dolly-Digital-Asset.”
23. Why did the bird hate 2021? Too many “Space Tourism” rockets leaving giant smoke trails in his favorite clouds.
24. What’s a horse’s favorite 2021 hobby? Taking “Bernie Sanders Mittens” photos for Instagram.
25. Why did the cat love The White Lotus? She also enjoys being pampered in a luxury hotel and judging the guests.
26. What do you call a dragon in 2021? A “Proof-of-Stake” fire-breather.
27. Why did the dog bark at the “Milk Crate Challenge”? He thought the humans were building a giant staircase to the moon.
28. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 band? “Glass Baaa-nimals.”
29. Why did the monkey like the “iPhone 13 Pro”? He liked the “Macro” mode (More detail on his banana peels).
30. What do you call a cow that likes Squid Game? “Moo-Gi-hun.”
31. Why did the squirrel hate “NFTs”? He couldn’t figure out how to “screenshot” a walnut.
32. What’s a cat’s favorite 2021 tech? The “Nintendo Switch OLED” (The colors make the fish games look real).
33. Why did the dog like Godzilla vs. Kong? He felt the giant ape was the ultimate “Big Dog.”
34. What do you call a group of ants in the Suez Canal? “A Cargo-colony.”
35. Why did the parrot mimic the “Squid Game” doll’s voice? To make his owner stop moving.
36. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 song? “Stay” (The Kid LAROI… she stayed for the grass).
37. Why did the cat stare at the “Bitcoin” chart in 2021? She was waiting for the “Bull” to run so she could chase it.
38. What do you call a dog that’s a fan of Loki? “A Glorious Purpose-triever.”
39. Why did the pig like Pig (2021)? He felt Nicolas Cage finally captured the emotional depth of a truffle-hunter.
40. What’s a hamster’s favorite 2021 gadget? The “Valve Steam Deck” (A portable wheel for gamers).
41. Why did the dog bark at the “Peloton” treadmills (recalled 2021)? He knew they were dangerous all along.
42. What do you call a cat that’s a “Metaverse” early adopter? “A Virtual-puss.”
43. Why did the bird join “TikTok” in 2021? To participate in the “Sea Shanty” trend (Part 2).
44. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 fashion? “Crocs” (She felt they were high-performance hooves).
45. Why did the dog like 2021? Because “Spider-Man: No Way Home” meant three times the humans to pet him (He hoped).
46. What do you call a fish that uses an AirTag? “A Trackable-gill.”
47. Why did the cat hate the “Facebook” name change to “Meta”? She thought “Mew-ta” would have been much better.
48. What’s a squirrel’s favorite 2021 movie? Don’t Look Up (He’s always looking up for hawks).
49. Why did the parrot get an NFT? To “Flip” it for more crackers.
50. What do you call a cow that likes Ted Lasso? “Believe-moo.”
51. Why did the dog bark at the “Suez Canal” excavator? He wanted to help dig the ship out.
52. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 tech? “Windows 11” (She liked the “Snap Layouts” for her grass photos).
53. Why did the cat like Halloween Kills? She’s also a fan of Michael Myers’ “Silent Stare” technique.
54. What do you call a donkey on “Squid Game”? “A Game-ass.”
55. Why did the bird like the “iPhone 13”? Longer battery life for his morning “Cloud-vlogs.”
56. What’s a dog’s favorite 2021 phrase? “To the moon!” (He thought he was going for a very high-speed walk).
57. Why did the squirrel hate “The Metaverse”? No real trees, no real nuts, 0/10.
58. What do you call a cat in Squid Game? “The Front-man-puss.”
59. Why did the pig like 2021? Because “Ham-ilton” was still the #1 streamed musical.
60. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 drink? “Oat Milk Latte” (The trend peaked).
61. Why did the dog bark at the movie The Suicide Squad (2021)? He liked King Shark (Big, hungry, friend-shaped).
62. What do you call a group of owls on an NFT? “A Parliament of Blockchains.”
63. Why did the cat like 2021? Because “Monterey” (macOS 12) sounded like a nice place for a vacation.
64. What’s a hamster’s favorite 2021 song? “Butter” (BTS… he loves butter-seeds).
65. Why did the dog hate the “Ever Given”? He was worried his new bed from Amazon was on the boat.
66. What do you call a dragon that likes Squid Game? “A Fire-player.”
67. Why did the parrot join “Discord” again? To “Squawk-chat” during the Suez Canal news.
68. Why was 2021 a great year for a dog? Because “Bernie’s Mittens” proved that being warm and cozy is a global virtue.
69. What do you call a horse that loves Coda? “Stable-listener.”
70. Why did the dog bark at the “Tesla Bot” (announced 2021)? He thought a skinny human in a suit was trying to take his job.
71. What’s a sheep’s favorite 2021 tech? The “MacBook Pro” (With the Notch—she thought it was a wool-clipping accident).
72. Why did the squirrel love “Squid Game”? Because he’s the master of “Red Light, Green Light” when crossing the road.
73. What do you call a cat that’s a fan of Adele (30 released 2021)? “Easy-on-paws.”
74. Why did the bird hate 2021? Too many “Selfie Drones” still invading his space.
75. What’s a dog’s favorite 2021 toy? An “Ever Given” plush toy (To keep it stuck in the hallway).
76. Why was 2021 the peak for animals? Because humans were too busy buying digital monkeys to notice the cat had taken over the actual bank account.
77. What do you call a cow in a “Metaverse” meeting? “A Moo-tual avatar.”
78. Why did the dog bark at the “Suez Canal”? Because he wanted to see if the boat had any giant biscuits on it.
79. What do you call a cat that survives “Squid Game”? “A Player-009-puss.”
80. Why did the owl love 2021? Because it was the year of the “Ever-Given-hoot.”
81. Why did the chicken cross the road in 2021? To get to the other side… of the “Metaverse.”
82. What do you call a fish in an NFT? “A Very Expensive-gill.”