79 Animal Jokes: The 1998 Furby Outbreak Protocol

Welcome to 1998. Google just launched in a garage, everyone was terrified of the “Y2K bug,” and a creepy robotic owl-hamster called Furby was watching us sleep. It was also the year A Bug’s Life and Antz made us feel guilty about using bug spray.

The 1998 Top 10: Animal Kingdom Classics

1. Why was the Furby so bad at poker? Because every time it got a good hand, it would scream “Waaaaaa!” and wake up the neighbors.
2. What happened when the dog met a Furby? He tried to fetch it, but the Furby started speaking Furbish and the dog joined a support group.
3. How do you find a squirrel in 1998? You don’t—you “Google” which tree he’s in.
4. Why was the ant so stressed in 1998? He had to choose between being a Pixar star or a Dreamworks star.
5. What do you call a spider worried about the year 2000? A Y2K bug.
6. Why did the cat like the new iMac G3? Because it looked like a giant piece of candy and came with a “mouse.”
7. What did the dog say to the first Google search bar? “Find… my… tail.”
8. Why did the Furby get kicked out of the library? It wouldn’t stop saying “Hungry!” in the middle of the quiet zone.
9. What’s a bug’s favorite movie of 1998? Saving Private Rhino-beetle.
10. Why did the owl join Google? He was already an expert at asking “Who?”

The Full 1998 Animal Archive (Extended List)

11. Why did the cat stare at the translucent iMac? It wanted to see if the mouse was inside the plastic.
12. What do you call a Furby that’s gone rogue? A “Furb-inator.”
13. Why did the chicken cross the road in 1998? To get to the garage where Google was starting.
14. What’s an ant’s favorite 1998 song? “Believe” by Cher (because he believes he can carry that crumb).
15. Why did the dog hate the 56k modem? Because every time it dialed, it sounded like a cat being squeezed through a straw.
16. What do you call a sheep that knows how to use a search engine? A “Baaa-ser.”
17. Why did the fish love A Bug’s Life? Because there were no hooks in it.
18. What’s a Furby’s favorite snack? AA batteries and your patience.
19. Why did the tiger like the movie Armageddon? He wanted to see the “Bengal” fire (it was a stretch, even for 1998).
20. What do you call a dog that can’t stop talking about his new startup? A “Dot-Collie.”
21. Why did the parrot mimic the ICQ “Uh-oh!” sound? Just to give his owner a mini-heart attack.
22. What’s a bug’s favorite sport? “Cricket” (especially in 1998).
23. Why was the hamster afraid of Y2K? He thought the “Millennium Bug” was a giant predator coming for his wheel.
24. What do you call a cow that uses Google? “Moo-gle.”
25. Why did the cat hate Godzilla (1998)? Because it was just a really big lizard that didn’t know how to use a litter box.
26. What’s a Furby’s favorite dance? The “Macarena” (it was a bit late, but Furbies are slow).
27. Why did the squirrel start a blog in 1998? To keep track of his “cache” of nuts.
28. What do you call a bird that works for an ISP? A “High-speed Tweeter.”
29. Why did the dog bark at the Furby? He couldn’t figure out if it was a toy or a demon.
30. What’s an ant’s favorite handheld? The “Game Boy Color” (he liked the purple one).
31. Why did the pig go to France in 1998? To see the World Cup—and eat all the leftover baguettes.
32. What do you call a cloned sheep that’s still famous in ’98? “Dolly 2.0.”
33. Why did the cat like The Truman Show? Because he also feels like he’s being watched by humans all day.
34. What’s a Furby’s favorite drink? “Juice” (but only from a battery).
35. Why did the duck join a chat room? To talk about his “bill.”
36. What do you call a dog that’s a fan of Titanic (still)? A “Le-old-nardo Di-Capri-dog.”
37. Why did the bee get a pager? He wanted to stay “bzzzz-y.”
38. Why did the spider love the 1998 internet? Because “crawlers” were finally becoming popular.
39. What’s a Furby’s favorite holiday? “New Year’s Eve 1999” (The Great Reset).
40. Why did the monkey love the iMac G3? He thought the “Bondi Blue” color was a new type of lagoon.
41. What do you call a group of ants watching Antz? A “film colony.”
42. Why did the dog sit on the laptop? He heard it was a “hot” new tech.
43. What’s a sheep’s favorite 1998 movie? Ewe-ve Got Mail.
44. Why did the cat hate the “Dancing Baby” meme? It stole all the attention from his “Dancing Cat” routine.
45. What do you call a Furby that’s run out of power? A “Paperweighty.”
46. Why did the horse like Google? It made finding “hay” much faster.
47. What’s a bug’s favorite place to shop? “The Gap” (between the floorboards).
48. Why did the owl use AltaVista? Because Google was too “mainstream” in September.
49. What do you call a dog that collects Beanie Babies? “Late to the party.”
50. Why did the hamster get a new wheel in 1998? He wanted “high-speed access.”
51. What’s a Furby’s favorite TV show? The X-Files (because it’s also unexplainable).
52. Why did the cat think the internet was made of yarn? Because of all the “threads.”
53. What do you call a pig that’s good at soccer? “Babe-inho.”
54. Why did the parrot get an ICQ number? To say “Uh-oh!” to everyone in the house.
55. What’s a sheep’s favorite 1998 fashion? Cargo pants (for all the wool).
56. Why did the dog bark at the “Save” icon? He thought it was a tiny square frisbee.
57. What do you call a Furby in a blender? “Furb-ie-shake” (Don’t try this at home).
58. Why did the chicken join a “Dot-Com”? To get some “seed” money.
59. What’s a cat’s favorite 1998 song? “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” (but with a laser pointer).
60. Why did the spider build a web on the server? To catch the Millennium Bug.
61. What do you call a cow that survives Y2K? “Moo-lennium Cow.”
62. Why did the dog like Air Bud: Golden Receiver? Because football is better with fur.
63. What’s a Furby’s favorite game? “Simon Says” (but only in Furbish).
64. Why did the horse like the internet? Because of the “stable” connection.
65. What do you call a cat that knows how to use Napster? A “Copy-cat.”
66. Why did the bird hate the 90s? Too many “Windows” (and he kept flying into them).
67. What’s a sheep’s favorite search engine? “Baaa-idu” (Wait, that’s later… let’s stay with “Baaa-ltavista”).
68. Why did the dog think he was a genius in 1998? He learned how to turn on the TV for Wishbone.
69. What do you call a Furby that can sing? “Furb-ie Hancock.”
70. Why did the squirrel love 1998? Because “Googling” sounded like a sound a squirrel makes.
71. What’s an ant’s favorite car? A “Bug”-atti.
72. Why did the cat stare at the printer? He was waiting for the “mouse” to come out.
73. What do you call a dog that loves the 90s? A “Good Boy” (some things never change).
74. Why did the hamster join a startup? For the stock “pellets.”
75. What’s a Furby’s favorite book? The Furb-idden Forest.
76. Why did the owl like the new tech? Because it was “owl-ways” changing.
77. What do you call a group of cats on the internet? A “Mew-tual fund.”
78. Why did the bug go to the doctor? He had a “Y2K” virus.
79. Why was 1998 the best year for a dog? Because everyone was too busy looking at their new Furbies to realize the dog ate the homework.