55 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2020 “Quarantine & Toilet Paper” Edition

In 2020, we all learned how to use Zoom, while Yo Mama was trying to use a sourdough starter as a face mask. It was the year of Tiger King, the launch of the PS5, and the realization that the only reason there was a global shortage of toilet paper was that Yo Mama went to the bathroom once.

The 2020 Top 10: The “Social Distance” Burns

1. The Lockdown Special: Yo mama is so fat, when the government said “Stay at Home,” she was already occupying three different zip codes, so she technically broke quarantine just by standing up.
2. The Toilet Paper Crisis: Yo mama is so big, when she went to Costco in March 2020, she didn’t just buy a pack of toilet paper—she bought the entire supply chain and used it as a single napkin.
3. The Tiger King Vibe: Yo mama is so ugly, Carole Baskin didn’t even need to use sardine oil to get the tigers to eat her; she just showed them your mama’s photo and they chose starvation.
4. The Zoom Meeting: Yo mama is so stupid, during a Zoom call, she tried to pass a real plate of cookies through the screen and then got mad when the WiFi “ate them.”
5. The PS5 Launch: Yo mama is so fat, the only way she could get a PS5 was by sitting on a PS4 and waiting for it to compress into a smaller, denser object.
6. The Animal Crossing Craze: Yo mama is so ugly, when she visited my island in Animal Crossing, Tom Nook charged her 2 million bells just to leave.
7. The Among Us Moment: Yo mama is so fat, when she tried to hide in the vents in Among Us, the entire spaceship crashed into a sun because of the weight displacement.
8. The Mask Mandate: Yo mama is so big, she doesn’t wear a face mask—she wears a king-sized fitted sheet held up by two telephone poles.
9. The Parasite Victory: Yo mama is so poor, she watched Parasite and thought it was a tutorial on how to upgrade her basement living situation.
10. The Murder Hornets: Yo mama is so scary, when the “Murder Hornets” arrived in 2020, they took one look at her and decided to go back to being “Peaceful Honeybees.”

The Full 2020 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a picture of a stimulus check as a blanket.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Stay 6 Feet Apart” sign, it’s just a suggestion for where her waistline starts.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to put hand sanitizer on her internet browser to get rid of a computer virus.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, even the coronavirus said: “I have standards, I’m staying away from that.”
15. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the first plague was just a small “Coming Soon” teaser.
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To Be Continued on Disney+ Premier Access.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “Contact Tracer” was someone who followed her to the fridge.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “home office” is a cardboard box with a “WiFi” symbol drawn in mustard.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, when she took off her mask, the 2020 apocalypse actually sped up.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she falls, she doesn’t make a sound—she makes a global emergency broadcast.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to a “Live Stream” because she heard it was “buffering.”
22. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Dead Sea” was just “Feeling a Bit Under the Weather.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, everyone yells “Taxi!”—even the ISS astronauts.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “a spa experience.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she made Medusa look like a supermodel.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… while she was the one walking it.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t look at the menu—she looks at the blueprints.
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s footman.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the air conditioning.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “No thanks.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code and its own time zone.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the equipment.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-20 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck in the ozone layer.
53. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “mute” her kids in real life because she thought she was still on Zoom.
54. Yo mama is so fat, she didn’t need to hoard groceries; she just stood in front of the pantry and declared herself an independent nation.
55. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “Quarantine” was a new type of fancy cheese.