53 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2005 “YouTube & Revenge of the Sith” Edition

In 2005, we stopped watching TV and started watching people eat cereal on the internet. It was the year of Star Wars: Episode III, the launch of the Xbox 360, and the realization that Yo Mama is the only person who can make Darth Vader say: “I find your lack of a salad-bar limit disturbing.”

The 2005 Top 10: The “Internet Revolution” Burns

1. The YouTube Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when she tried to upload a video of herself in 2005, YouTube had to change its slogan from “Broadcast Yourself” to “We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Server.”
2. The Revenge of the Sith: Yo mama is so ugly, when Anakin saw her face, he decided that burning alive on Mustafar was a much better alternative than looking at her for another second.
3. The Xbox 360 Premiere: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the Xbox 360 was a new 360-degree microwave and tried to cook a frozen turkey in the disc tray.
4. The Batman Begins: Yo mama is so fat, when she fell in the cave, the bats didn’t fly out—they stayed down there because she blocked the only exit for three weeks.
5. The Guitar Hero Debut: Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to play Guitar Hero with a real guitar and ended up smashing her TV because she couldn’t find the “Star Power” button.
6. The King Kong Remake: Yo mama is so big, when King Kong saw her, he climbed down the Empire State Building and gave her the keys to the city just so she wouldn’t sit on him.
7. The Tom Cruise Couch Jump: Yo mama is so fat, when she tried to jump on Oprah’s couch like Tom Cruise, she didn’t just break the couch—she broke the foundation of the entire studio and three city blocks.
8. The Wedding Crashers: Yo mama is so ugly, she doesn’t need to crash weddings; people just give her money to stay away so she doesn’t ruin the photos.
9. The Mariah Carey Comeback: Yo mama is so old, when Mariah sang “We Belong Together,” your mama yelled: “I remember when you belonged in a playpen, Mimi!”
10. The Madagascar Movie: Yo mama is so fat, when she went to the zoo, the penguins from Madagascar tried to use her as a continent to escape to Antarctica.

The Full 2005 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the local car dealership just to sit in the cars and pretend she’s going somewhere.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Go” sign, traffic starts moving in four different dimensions.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “refresh” her drink by hitting F5 on the glass.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her reflection in the mirror is pixelated for her own safety.
15. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate is written on a stone tablet with a “Version 1.0” sticker.
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To be continued on the next DVD.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “hotspot” was a place where they sold spicy wings.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “plasma TV” is just a window with a blue fly swatter stuck to it.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, even the “Hideous” filter on social media makes her look better.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she gets on an elevator, the sign says: “Max Capacity: Just Her.”
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to a “Food Drive.”
22. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Great Wall of China” was just a “Decent Fence of China.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, everyone yells “Taxi!”—even the airplanes.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a Medusa into a pile of gravel.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… while she was the one walking it.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a buffet, they have to use a snow shovel to refill the trays.
28. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is just “7.”
29. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay a compliment.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection walks away and files for a divorce.
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow weighs 150 pounds and has its own personality.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince.
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-8 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck.
53. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “WiFi” stood for “Why I Fail Internally.”