50 Yo Mama Jokes: The 1999 “Matrix & Millennium Bug” Edition

In 1999, everyone was preparing for the end of the world, but the only thing truly ending was the floorboards whenever Yo Mama walked across the room. It was the year of The Phantom Menace, the debut of SpongeBob, and the moment we realized that Yo Mama is the only person who can make a “red pill” look like a Tic Tac.

The 1999 Top 10: The “EndOfCentury” Burns

1. The Matrix Revelation: Yo mama is so fat, when Morpheus offered her the red or the blue pill, she said: “Do you have anything in a sourdough bread bowl?”
2. The Phantom Menace: Yo mama is so ugly, when she walked onto the set of Star Wars, George Lucas fired the guy playing Jar Jar Binks because your mama was naturally more terrifying.
3. The Y2K Panic: Yo mama is so stupid, she spent New Year’s Eve 1999 in a suit made of aluminum foil because she thought the “Millennium Bug” was coming to lay eggs in her hair.
4. The SpongeBob Debut: Yo mama is so big, she moved to Bikini Bottom and everyone thought a new continent had just been discovered.
5. The Blair Witch Project: Yo mama is so scary, the filmmakers of The Blair Witch Project didn’t use a witch—they just filmed your mama coming out of the shower and had to market it as a “horror legend.”
6. The Napster Launch: Yo mama is so old, she tried to download a song on Napster and by the time it finished, she had already qualified for a senior citizen discount.
7. The Sixth Sense: Yo mama is so ugly, the kid from The Sixth Sense said: “I see dead people… but I wish I saw them instead of your mama.”
8. The Britney vs. Christina: Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason Britney Spears sang “Oops!… I Did It Again”—she was talking about your mama sat on her lunch. Again.
9. The Fight Club Rule: The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule is: You do not talk about how Yo Mama is the reason the club needs a bigger basement.
10. The American Pie: Yo mama is so stupid, she watched American Pie and tried to order a “warm teenager” at the local bakery.

The Full 1999 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention to the countdown.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Y2K” shirt, it stands for “Yield 2 Kilotons.”
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Heave” sign on a “Pull” door and tried to lift the building.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her birth certificate is a “Cease and Desist” order from the Department of Aesthetics.
15. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Big Bang” was just a “Minor Pop.”
16. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a hula-hoop as a napkin.
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to charge her pager by putting it in a lightning storm.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her idea of a “fine dining” experience is eating a Saltine with a fork.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection goes on strike.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a gray tracksuit, people mistake her for a stadium.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… while she was the one driving it.
22. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is in Sanskrit.
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she fell over, she made the Earth’s axis shift three degrees.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a flashlight around and calls it “Laser Surgery.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, the government uses her face to test the durability of military-grade pixels.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to fax a box of chocolates.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a buffet, the owners put up a “Closed for Maintenance” sign.
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew the “Seven Wonders of the World” when they were still “The Seven Pretty Decent Places.”
29. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, she made a “Happy Meal” cry.
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she studied for a urine test.
33. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the sun was just a dim lightbulb.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the ozone layer has a hole—she needed some air.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to buy a “For Sale” sign for her cardboard box.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walked into a haunted house, the ghosts started paying rent.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at a carton of eggs for an hour because it said “Keep Refrigerated.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she doesn’t need a car—she just waits for the Earth to rotate to her destination.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Magna Carta.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the airport just to smell the jet fuel.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, when she joined a beauty contest, the judges called an exorcist.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “Save As” her dinner on the computer.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Gravy.
44. Yo mama is so old, she baby-sat the dinosaurs.
45. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a wet sock as a humidifier.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she has to wear a bag over her head just to go to the grocery store, and even the bag is crying.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “Netscape” was a way to catch butterflies.
48. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, children yell: “Look! A school bus with legs!”
49. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate is written on a rock with a chisel.
50. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the millennium was a new type of candy bar.