54 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2013 “GTA V & Frozen” Edition

In 2013, we were all busy robbing banks in Los Santos and trying to build a snowman. It was the year of the Vine launch, the Harlem Shake craze, and the realization that Yo Mama is the only person who can cause a 5-star wanted level in real life just by walking into a “Quiet Zone” at the library.

The 2013 Top 10: The “Wrecking Ball & Los Santos” Burns

1. The GTA V Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when she spawned in GTA V, the game map expanded by 40% and Michael, Franklin, and Trevor all retired because they couldn’t drive around her.
2. The Frozen Special: Yo mama is so ugly, when Elsa saw her, she didn’t say “The cold never bothered me anyway”—she said “Actually, I’m going back inside and locking the ice palace.”
3. The Wrecking Ball: Yo mama is so big, when Miley Cyrus swung on that wrecking ball, she wasn’t filming a music video—she was just trying to get your mama to move off her parking spot.
4. The Harlem Shake: Yo mama is so fat, when she tried to do the “Harlem Shake,” she caused a magnitude 8.2 earthquake that made people in Japan fall over.
5. The Vine Launch: Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to watch a 7-second Vine for three hours because she thought it was a very slow movie about a guy dropping a croissant.
6. The Iron Man 3: Yo mama is so fat, Tony Stark had to develop the “Hulkbuster” armor just to give her a hug.
7. The Man of Steel: Yo mama is so heavy, when Superman tried to lift her, he became the “Man of Plastic Surgery” because he threw out his back.
8. The Candy Crush Craze: Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat her smartphone because she got a “Sweet!” combo in Candy Crush.
9. The Pope Francis Election: Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the Vatican was just a small “Coming Soon” sign in a field.
10. The Doge Meme: Yo mama is so ugly, even the Doge said: “Much scary. Very trauma. Wow. No.”

The Full 2013 Yo Mama Archive

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand near the rich people and hope some of the “wealthy scent” rubs off on her.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Loading…” shirt, people wait three days for her to finish walking past the house.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “refresh” her actual drink by hitting F5 on the glass.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her birth certificate is a “Terms of Service” agreement that the hospital regretted.
15. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is just “π.”
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To Be Continued on Netflix.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “The Cloud” was where they stored the marshmallows for the internet.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “flatscreen TV” is a window with a black frame around it.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a “Beauty” vlog into a horror movie.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she falls, she doesn’t make a sound—she makes a Richter scale reading.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to a “data stream” because she heard it was “liquid.”
22. Yo mama is so old, she remember when the “Dead Sea” was still “The Sea that Needs a Nap.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, everyone yells “Taxi!”—even the ISS astronauts.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “a spa experience.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she made Medusa look like a supermodel.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… again.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t look at the menu—she looks at the blueprints.
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s footman.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the air conditioning.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “No thanks.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code and its own time zone.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-20 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck.
53. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “WiFi” stood for “Why I Fail Internally.”
54. Yo mama is so fat, when she walked onto the set of Gravity, the director told her she was the only planet they needed to film.