52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2004 “Facebook & Shrek 2” Edition

In 2004, we were all busy poke-ing people on social media and wondering why Lost was so confusing. It was the year of Mean Girls, the launch of Gmail, and the realization that Yo Mama is the only person who can make the “You Can’t Sit With Us” rule from Mean Girls a matter of structural safety.

The 2004 Top 10: The “Social Media & Super Bowl” Burns

1. The Facebook Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook, he had to make a “Wide View” mode just so your mama could fit in a single post.
2. The Shrek 2 Special: Yo mama is so ugly, when she met Puss in Boots, his eyes didn’t get big and cute—they just fell out of his head.
3. The Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction: Yo mama is so old, when Janet Jackson had her wardrobe malfunction, your mama shouted: “Big deal! My corset popped in 1924 and took out three federal buildings!”
4. The Mean Girls Vibe: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “Burn Book” was a manual on how to properly use a charcoal grill.
5. The Gmail Debut: Yo mama is so fat, when Google gave everyone 1GB of storage in 2004, your mama used it all up just by sending one selfie.
6. The Spider-Man 2: Yo mama is so big, when Doc Ock tried to grab her with his mechanical arms, they snapped like toothpicks and he had to go back to being just “Regular Ock.”
7. The Lost Premiere: Yo mama is so fat, when the plane crashed in Lost, the survivors didn’t look for an island—they just set up camp on your mama because she was closer and had more vegetation.
8. The Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas: Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “hotwire” a bicycle in San Andreas and ended up getting a 5-star wanted level for public indecency.
9. The Usher’s “Yeah!”: Yo mama is so fat, when Usher sang “Yeah!”, he was actually just nodding in agreement that she needed two chairs to sit down.
10. The Nintendo DS Launch: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “Dual Screen” meant she could watch two different cooking shows at the same time.

The Full 2004 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank to smell the money.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Do Not Enter” sign, it’s not for security—it’s because there’s no more room in the building.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to put a “New Folder” in her actual filing cabinet by clicking her fingers.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her birth certificate is a “Warning” label from the EPA.
15. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Big Bang” was just a “Minor Misunderstanding.”
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “NASA’s Deep Space Network.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “Firewall” was something you built to keep out dragons.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “home theater” is a magnifying glass in front of a Game Boy.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the mirror files for a restraining order.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she sits on a Rainbow, she turns it into a Bridge.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a ruler to the beach to see how long the tide stayed out.
22. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is just “IV.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow tracksuit, people try to hail her like a taxi… in three different time zones.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet rag around and calls it “central air.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a gargoyle into a puddle of tears.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… while she was the one who parked it.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t order food—she orders “The Inventory.”
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew the “Dead Sea” when it was still “In a Coma.”
29. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay her respects.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “I’m good, thanks.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own gravity and attracts small pets.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why she didn’t get any mail.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in driver’s ed… and she was the one who taught him how to park.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras out of respect for the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments… on a floppy disk.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention to her own bills.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Privacy Settings” on Facebook.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight… again.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s gardener.
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McFlurry on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-8 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck in the ozone layer.