52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2006 “Twitter & Pluto Demoted” Edition

In 2006, we started expressing our deepest thoughts in 140 characters, while Yo Mama was expressing her deepest thoughts through the structural failure of her floorboards. It was the year of Casino Royale, the Nintendo Wii, and the realization that Yo Mama is the reason Pluto was kicked out of the planetary club—she needed the extra space to sit down.

The 2006 Top 10: The “Wii & Bond” Burns

1. The Twitter Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when she tried to send her first Tweet in 2006, Twitter had to increase the character limit to 140,000 just to fit her belt size.
2. The Pluto Demotion: Yo mama is so big, when scientists demoted Pluto, they replaced it with her in the textbooks, but they had to use a fold-out page for the diagram.
3. The Nintendo Wii Premiere: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the Wii Remote was a new type of high-tech churro and tried to dip it in chocolate sauce.
4. The Casino Royale: Yo mama is so ugly, when Daniel Craig saw her in the casino, he didn’t say “shaken, not stirred”—he just said “I’m retiring” and jumped out the window.
5. The Borat Vibe: Yo mama is so hairy, when Borat saw her in her swimsuit, he shouted: “Very nice! I didn’t know they made mankinis for grizzly bears!”
6. The Cars Movie: Yo mama is so fat, when she watched Cars, she thought it was a cooking show about how to properly marinate a sedan.
7. The Snakes on a Plane: Yo mama is so scary, even Samuel L. Jackson said: “I have had it with these mother-fing mamas on this mother-fing plane!” and jumped out without a parachute.
8. The Pirates 2: Yo mama is so big, when Davy Jones saw her, he decided to stay at the bottom of the ocean for another 100 years just to avoid sharing the surface.
9. The High School Musical: Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “High School Musical” was just a caveman banging two rocks together in the back of the gym.
10. The Justin Timberlake Comeback: Yo mama is so fat, when Justin sang “SexyBack,” she thought he was giving her directions to the nearest buffet.

The Full 2006 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she has to use a picture of a lightbulb to see in the dark.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Loading…” shirt, people wait three days for her to finish walking past.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “right-click” her actual TV remote to find more channels.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her driver’s license says “Check engine light” instead of a photo.
15. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Dead Sea” was just a “Slightly Grumpy Sea.”
16. Yo mama is so fat, her BMI is “To Infinity and Beyond.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to use a “Bluetooth” headset to brush her teeth.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “credit card” is a library card with a dollar bill taped to it.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the mirror asks for a 20-minute break.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she falls, she creates a localized holiday because school gets cancelled for the earthquake.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a bucket to the movies because she heard there was a “leak” online.
22. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is just “π.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the local airport tries to land a 747 on her.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “a spa day.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a Medusa into a pile of pebbles.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… while she was the one who parked it.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t order food—she orders “The Infrastructure.”
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s stable boy.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the AC.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “I’m good, thanks.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own gravity and attracts small pets.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in driver’s ed.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras out of respect for the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince.
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-8 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck in the ozone layer.