52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 1998 “Google & Armageddon” Edition

In 1998, we were all worried about the Y2K bug, while Yo Mama was already a bug in the system of life. It was the year of the iMac, the Furby, and the realization that if you wanted to search for something “huge” on the new Google search engine, it just redirected you to your mama’s home address.

The 1998 Top 10: The “World Is Not Enough” Burns

1. The Google Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when Google launched in 1998, she was the only result for the search term “infinite mass.”
2. The Armageddon Movie: Yo mama is so big, NASA didn’t need to send Bruce Willis to space; they just told your mama to jump and the shockwave destroyed the asteroid.
3. The Furby Craze: Yo mama is so ugly, when she bought a Furby, it looked at her and started speaking perfect English just to beg for mercy.
4. The iMac G3 Revolution: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the transparent iMac was a microwave and tried to cook a burrito in the CD drive.
5. The Clinton Scandal: Yo mama is so fat, when Bill Clinton said “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” he was pointing at your mama because he couldn’t physically fit in the same room as her.
6. The Britney Spears Debut: Yo mama is so old, when Britney sang “…Baby One More Time,” your mama yelled: “I’ve had enough babies, give me a martini!”
7. The Saving Private Ryan: Yo mama is so fat, they didn’t need a beachhead at Normandy; they just had her do a cannonball off the boat and the tide washed the Germans back to Berlin.
8. The Zelda: Ocarina of Time: Yo mama is so ugly, when Link played the “Sun’s Song,” the sun refused to come out because it didn’t want to see her face.
9. The France ’98 World Cup: Yo mama is so big, when she went to the World Cup, she was mistaken for the stadium and 80,000 people tried to sit on her.
10. The Y2K Panic: Yo mama is so stupid, she started hiding under the bed in 1998 because she thought the “Millennium Bug” was a giant spider coming to eat her.

The Full 1998 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the local library just to look at pictures of food.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “GPS” shirt, people actually find their way home.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a coat of paint on the computer to make it “Windows.”
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her birth certificate came with a “Warning: Graphic Content” label.
15. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the solar system was just a “Coming Soon” attraction.
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “Equator + 5.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to use a pager as a calculator.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her trash can has a “Welcome” mat.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a Medusa into a statue of salt.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she gets on a scale, it screams: “To be continued!”
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “webmaster” was a spider with a degree.
22. Yo mama is so old, she has a Bible signed by the author.
23. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a hula hoop as a wedding ring.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a picture of a steak at the dinner table.
25. Yo mama is so ugly, the mirror says “I quit” every morning.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to the beach, the whales start singing “We Are Family.”
28. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the Moon was just a nightlight.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a wet piece of paper as a band-aid.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a pet shop, people ask how much she costs.
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow weighs 50 pounds.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to wash her car with a sponge cake.
33. Yo mama is so old, she baby-sat the Flintstones.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth isn’t flat anymore.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she puts a “For Rent” sign on her refrigerator.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, even Scooby-Doo wouldn’t solve the mystery of her face.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Enter” sign on her belly button.
38. Yo mama is so fat, when she sits on a Rainbow, she makes Skittles.
39. Yo mama is so old, she knew the Rolling Stones when they were just pebbles.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay her taxes in Monopoly money.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, she made a gargoyle blink.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she called a psychic to ask what her own name was.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her driver’s license says: “Picture continued on next card.”
44. Yo mama is so old, she was there when God said “Let there be light” and she flicked the switch.
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the movies and watches the credits just to feel like she’s part of something.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the mirror looks away.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “laptop” was a place where a cat sits.
48. Yo mama is so fat, she doesn’t go “out” to eat, she goes “everywhere” to eat.
49. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is in Roman numerals.
50. Yo mama is so poor, her “luxury car” is a shopping cart with a cup holder.
51. Yo mama is so ugly, she has to trick-or-treat over the phone.
52. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to recharge her batteries in the microwave.