51 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner & Pennywise” Edition

In 2017, we were all busy spinning fidget spinners and avoiding red balloons. It was the year of Wonder Woman, the launch of the Nintendo Switch, and the realization that Yo Mama is the only person who can walk into a sewer and Pennywise says: “You know what? I’m not that hungry. Keep the balloon, just please don’t sit down.”

The 2017 Top 10: The “Dancing Clown & Battle Royale” Burns

1. The IT Special: Yo mama is so ugly, when Pennywise saw her, he popped his own red balloon and hid in the drain until 2044 just to make sure she was gone.
2. The Fidget Spinner Craze: Yo mama is so fat, she uses a industrial ceiling fan as a fidget spinner, and it still doesn’t spin fast enough to distract her from the smell of a cheeseburger.
3. The Nintendo Switch Launch: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “Nintendo Switch” was a new brand of light switch and spent all night trying to turn off the sun.
4. The Despacito Vibe: Yo mama is so slow, it takes her a year to finish the “Despacito” dance, and by the time she’s done, the song is already a classic oldie.
5. The Fortnite Debut: Yo mama is so fat, when she dropped into Fortnite, she didn’t need to build a fort—she just sat down and the entire map became a “No-Fly Zone.”
6. The Wonder Woman: Yo mama is so old, she remember when Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth was just a piece of dental floss she lent to Diana.
7. The Salt Bae Moment: Yo mama is so poor, she watched “Salt Bae” and started crying because she couldn’t afford the salt, let alone the steak.
8. The Justice League: Yo mama is so big, when the Justice League assembled, Batman had to upgrade the Batmobile to a Bat-semi-truck just to give her a ride to the crime scene.
9. The iPhone X Launch: Yo mama is so ugly, the iPhone X’s FaceID refused to unlock the phone and instead called the local priest for an exorcism.
10. The Solar Eclipse: Yo mama is so fat, when the 2017 solar eclipse happened, everyone looked at her because she was the one blocking the sun, and the moon was actually just her left earring.

The Full 2017 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the park to use the public fountain as a “water park” for her pet rock.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Loading…” shirt, the neighborhood’s Wi-Fi speed drops to 1G.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “re-upload” her dinner by putting it back in the microwave.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her birth certificate is a “Cease and Desist” order from the Department of Human Aesthetics.
15. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is just the Roman numeral “I”.
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To Be Continued on 8K Resolution.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “Bitcoin” was a snack you get at a digital arcade.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “Tesla” is a shopping cart with a battery taped to it.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a “Beauty” filter into a “System Overload.”
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she falls, she doesn’t make a sound—she makes the news.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to a “Bitstream” because she heard it was high-quality.
22. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Grand Canyon” was just a crack in the sidewalk.
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, everyone yells “Taxi!”—even the ISS astronauts.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “a spa experience.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she made Medusa look like a Victoria’s Secret model.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… again.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t look at the menu—she looks at the structural integrity.
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s footman.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the air conditioning.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “No thanks.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code and its own time zone.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the equipment.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-20 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.