51 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2012 “End of the World & Gangnam Style” Edition

In 2012, we were all dancing like we were riding invisible horses while waiting for the apocalypse. It was the year of the Avengers assembling, the debut of Tinder, and the realization that Yo Mama is the only person who can cause a “blackout” just by standing in front of a window during a solar eclipse.

The 2012 Top 10: The “Apocalypse & Avengers” Burns

1. The Mayan Calendar: Yo mama is so fat, the Mayans predicted the world would end in 2012 because they saw her walking toward the edge of a cliff and knew the Earth’s crust couldn’t take it.
2. The Gangnam Style: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “Gangnam Style” was a new way to order a double-sized portion of beef lo mein.
3. The Avengers Assembly: Yo mama is so big, when the Avengers assembled, they didn’t fight aliens—they just spent three hours trying to help your mama out of her beanbag chair.
4. The Tinder Launch: Yo mama is so ugly, when she joined Tinder in 2012, the app deleted itself from every phone in the tri-state area.
5. The Hunger Games: Yo mama is so fat, when she entered the Hunger Games, the Capitol immediately surrendered because they didn’t have enough resources to feed even one of her snacks.
6. The Curiosity Mars Landing: Yo mama is so big, when the Curiosity rover landed on Mars, it actually just landed on your mama’s back while she was napping in the desert.
7. The Skyfall Premiere: Yo mama is so old, when James Bond said “Skyfall,” she complained that her “Back-fell” and her “Shoulder-fell” decades ago.
8. The London Olympics: Yo mama is so fat, when she ran the 100m dash in London, she finished in first, second, and third place because she took up all the lanes.
9. The Kony 2012: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “Kony 2012” was a new brand of ice cream and tried to order a triple scoop.
10. The Dark Knight Rises: Yo mama is so ugly, when Bane saw her, he put another mask on just to make sure he couldn’t see her through the peripheral vision.

The Full 2012 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank to look at the security cameras just to see what she looks like on TV.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “GPS” shirt, people actually use her to find their way home.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “un-bake” a cake by putting it in the freezer.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her birth certificate is a formal apology from the Department of Biology.
15. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is “Minus 4.”
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To Be Continued on Disney+.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “Cloud Storage” was where you kept your pillows.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “flat-screen TV” is a black trash bag taped to the wall.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, she made a “Happy Meal” cry for its life.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she falls, she creates a localized holiday because school gets canceled for the earthquake.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to a “Food Drive” and waited for the truck.
22. Yo mama is so old, she remember when the “Big Dipper” was just a “Teaspoon.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, everyone yells “Taxi!”—even the airplanes.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “a spa day.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a Medusa statue into a pile of gravel.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… again.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t order food—she orders “The Inventory.”
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s footman.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the air conditioning.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “I’m good, thanks.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code and a representative in Congress.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-20 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.