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Home » The Yo Mama Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » The Selective Hearing

The Selective Hearing

When your kids only hear the word “cookie” from a mile away.

I can yell my kids’ names for twenty minutes and get nothing. But if I whisper “I’m eating the last piece of chocolate” in the basement, they appear instantly.

🔥 Top 10: The Yo Mama Joke Archive: 1995–2025

54 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2018 “Infinity War & Baby Shark” Edition
In 2018, we were all busy doing the Floss dance and try...read more »
1996 Archive: The Independence Day Special
 Yo mama is so fat, when the aliens tried to beam her up in Indep...read more »
The Cooking Confidence
A recipe that only works if she’s the one making it.I followed my...read more »
1995 Archive: The Batman Forever
 Yo mama is so stupid, she thought "Batman Forever" was a promise...read more »
52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2009 “Avatar & Poker Face” Edition
In 2009, we were all busy mining diamonds in Minecraft ...read more »
1997 Classic: The Titanic Tragedy
 Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the Titanic, the iceberg ...read more »
1995 Vintage: The Starbucks Boom
 Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to Starbucks, she orders a "Ven...read more »
1996 Vintage: The Nintendo 64 Launch
 Yo mama is so ugly, when she played Super Mario 64, Bowser surre...read more »
54 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2001 “Shrek & Fellowship” Edition
In 2001, we were all obsessed with rings, ogres, and wizards. It ...read more »
The Mom Voice
A sound frequency that can stop time and bad behavior.My mom does...read more »

😜 More from category: The Yo Mama Joke Archive: 1995–2025

52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2019 “Endgame & Joker” Edition
In 2019, we all cried "I love you 3000," while Yo Mama was eating...read more »
52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2010 “Inception & Instagram” Edition
In 2010, we started taking photos of our lunch before eating it, ...read more »
52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2006 “Twitter & Pluto Demoted” Edition
In 2006, we started expressing our deepest thoughts in 140 charac...read more »
1996 Legacy: The Atlanta Olympics
 Yo mama is so fat, when she ran the 100m dash in Atlanta, she to...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Netscape_Ninja02/27/2007 12:22Loading this took forever on 28.8k, but I am ROFLing now.
@DialUp_Dreamer06/20/2014 22:35Beep-boop-krrr-hiss... finally loaded! Great joke.
@Motherboard_Max06/29/2012 01:11This joke has a high clock speed! Fast and funny.
@Antivirus_Pro04/12/2004 06:25No viruses here, just good vibes.
@Ed_Edd_n_Eddy03/14/2013 15:35That’s a lot of jawbreakers worth of humor!
@Pedro_For_Pres06/10/2011 23:45Vote for Pedro! He tells better jokes.
@Habbo_Hotel_Bob03/20/1996 23:20The pool is closed... but the joke archive is open!
@Newgrounds_User10/29/2001 08:53Everything, by everyone! Especially laughs!
@True_Story_Neil09/05/1999 20:26True story! I was there!

Yearly Joke Archive

4 thoughts on “The Selective Hearing”

  1. User_93
    User_93 [Human Verified]

    i’ve been scrolling for 20 minutes and this is the first one that made me bark-laugh.

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