52 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2009 “Avatar & Poker Face” Edition

In 2009, we were all busy mining diamonds in Minecraft and trying to figure out why Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift. It was the year of the BlackBerry peak, the launch of Angry Birds, and the realization that Yo Mama is the only person who can make a “Blueberry” phone look like a real fruit just by holding it.

The 2009 Top 10: The “Blue Aliens & Diamond Pickaxes” Burns

1. The Avatar Special: Yo mama is so fat, when she went to see Avatar in 3D, the audience had to evacuate because her stomach was actually poking people in the back row.
2. The Minecraft Debut: Yo mama is so ugly, when she joined a Minecraft server, the Creepers stopped hissing and started running away because they were afraid she’d explode first.
3. The Kanye vs. Taylor: Yo mama is so stupid, when Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift, your mama stood up and yelled: “Beyoncé might have the best video, but I have the best recipe for tater tot casserole!”
4. The Lady Gaga Vibe: Yo mama is so scary, when Lady Gaga sang “Poker Face,” she was actually practicing how to stay calm while looking at your mama’s driver’s license photo.
5. The Angry Birds Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when she played Angry Birds, she didn’t use the slingshot—she just leaned forward and the pigs surrendered out of sheer gravitational terror.
6. The Twilight: New Moon: Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “New Moon” was just a “Used Moon” that God got at a garage sale.
7. The Hangover Movie: Yo mama is so big, when the guys woke up in The Hangover, they didn’t find a tiger in the bathroom—they found your mama’s left shoe and it took them three days to walk around it.
8. The Michael Jackson Tribute: Yo mama is so fat, when she tried to do the “Moonwalk,” she didn’t slide backwards—she accidentally pushed the Earth forward two inches.
9. The Black Eyed Peas Era: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “Boom Boom Pow” was the sound her bed made every time she tried to sit down.
10. The Up Movie: Yo mama is so heavy, the old man in Up would have needed four billion balloons and a rocket booster just to get her off the front porch.

The Full 2009 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the park to charge her phone from a lightning bug.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a “Space” t-shirt, NASA discovers three new planets orbiting her waist.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “unfriend” her boss in real life by throwing a brick at his window.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a “Beauty” filter into a “System Error.”
15. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is just the square root of 1.
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To Be Continued on the Next Millennium.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a “Kindle” was what you used to start a campfire.
18. Yo mama is so poor, her “home security” is a picture of a pitbull on a piece of cardboard.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, her reflection in the mirror is just a “Content Warning” screen.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps in the air, she gets stuck in a cloud and the Air Force has to shoot her down.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the “Cloud” because she heard it was full of data.
22. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Big Dipper” was just a “Small Spoon.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, the sun feels like it has competition.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “a hurricane.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she made a Medusa statue blink and cry.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… while she was the one who parked it.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t order food—she orders “The Supply Chain.”
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince’s squire.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the air conditioning.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “I’ll pass.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code and a representative in Congress.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-20 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she sits on a dollar, she makes four quarters.