55 Yo Mama Jokes: The 2007 “iPhone & Transformers” Edition

In 2007, we stopped clicking buttons and started swiping the screen while your mom was still trying to swipe the TV to change the channel. That was the year of Spider-Man 3, the release of the final Harry Potter book, and the realization that the only reason the iPhone had a “Zoom” feature was to try to capture at least half of your mom’s face in a single photo.

The 2007 Top 10: The “First Smartphone & Magic” Burns

1. The iPhone Launch: Yo mama is so fat, when Steve Jobs unveiled the first iPhone, he had to apologize because the Google Maps app crashed every time she stepped out of her house.
2. The Transformers Special: Yo mama is so big, when Megatron saw her, he didn’t try to conquer Earth—he just turned into a fridge and hoped she wouldn’t notice him.
3. The Harry Potter Finale: Yo mama is so old, she didn’t need to read The Deathly Hallows to know the ending; she was the one who sold Voldemort his first diary.
4. The Spider-Man 3: Yo mama is so ugly, when the Venom symbiote tried to bond with her, it decided that living in a glass jar for eternity was a much better life.
5. The Rihanna’s Umbrella: Yo mama is so fat, when Rihanna sang “You can stand under my umbrella,” she had to clarify: “Not you, mama. You need a circus tent and a tarp.”
6. The Halo 3 Launch: Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “Master Chief” was the head cook at a Waffle House.
7. The Ratatouille Movie: Yo mama is so ugly, the rats in Ratatouille refused to cook for her because they had “standards” for what kind of creature they’d be seen with.
8. The Bee Movie: Yo mama is so fat, when she wears yellow and black, people don’t think she’s a bee—they think she’s a construction site.
9. The Soulja Boy Era: Yo mama is so stupid, when Soulja Boy said “Crank that,” she went into the garage and started looking for a wrench.
10. The No Country for Old Men: Yo mama is so scary, Javier Bardem saw her and decided that a bolt gun wasn’t enough; he needed a tactical nuke.

The Full 2007 Yo Mama Archive (Selected Highlights)

11. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the grocery store just to read the “Best Before” dates and feel nostalgic.
12. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears an “Initial” necklace, it has to be the whole alphabet.
13. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to “scroll” on a newspaper.
14. Yo mama is so ugly, her school pictures were developed in a dark room… and they still came out screaming.
15. Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the “Red Sea” was just the “Pink Sea.”
16. Yo mama is so fat, her belt size is “To Be Continued.”
17. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “Bluetooth” was what happens when you drink too much Gatorade.
18. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay a visit.
19. Yo mama is so ugly, she made a “Silent Movie” scream.
20. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck in a cloud.
21. Yo mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the library because she heard there was “food for thought.”
22. Yo mama is so old, her Social Security number is “3.”
23. Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, the sun feels jealous of the surface area.
24. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a wet towel around and calls it “AC.”
25. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of gravel.
26. Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car… again.
27. Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a buffet, the chefs take a collective smoke break because they know it’s over.
28. Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was just a Prince.
29. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to the bank just to stand in the air conditioning.
30. Yo mama is so ugly, even a blind man would say “I’ll pass.”
31. Yo mama is so fat, her shadow has its own zip code and a mayor.
32. Yo mama is so stupid, she put a “Do Not Disturb” sign on her forehead and wondered why no one would talk to her.
33. Yo mama is so old, she sat next to Moses in kindergarten.
34. Yo mama is so fat, she’s the reason the Earth has a slight bulge at the equator.
35. Yo mama is so poor, she uses a Cheeto as a highlighter.
36. Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the cameras to save the viewers.
37. Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at an orange juice carton for three hours because it said “Concentrate.”
38. Yo mama is so fat, she needs a GPS to find her own feet.
39. Yo mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Ten Commandments.
40. Yo mama is so poor, she can’t even afford to pay attention.
41. Yo mama is so ugly, her face is the reason we have the “Skip Ad” button.
42. Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to light a match with a flashlight.
43. Yo mama is so fat, her necktie is a beach towel.
44. Yo mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired.”
45. Yo mama is so poor, she goes to McDonald’s to put a McDouble on layaway.
46. Yo mama is so ugly, she turned Medusa into a pile of salt.
47. Yo mama is so stupid, she put sugar on the bed because she wanted “sweet dreams.”
48. Yo mama is so fat, she has to use a boomerang to put on her belt.
49. Yo mama is so old, her birthday candles are the primary cause of global warming.
50. Yo mama is so poor, she waves a popsicle stick around and calls it “Air Conditioning.”
51. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought the “G-8 Summit” was a new brand of mountain bike.
52. Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the air, she gets stuck in the ozone layer.
53. Yo mama is so ugly, she makes a mirror cry “Why me?”
54. Yo mama is so stupid, she thought “WiFi” was a new brand of breakfast cereal.
55. Yo mama is so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says: “Please, one at a time.”