54 Kids Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner & Lava” Edition

In 2017, the coolest thing was having a glowing fidget spinner and knowing the dance to “Despacito” (even if we just made up the words). It was the year of The Boss Baby, the launch of the Nintendo Switch, and the era when everyone was trying to master the “Backpack Kid” floss dance.

The 2017 Top 10: The “Spinning & Sizzling” Hits

1. The Fidget Spinner Logic: Why did the student bring a fidget spinner to the math test? He wanted to give his brain a “whirl” and hope for the best!
2. The Floor is Lava: Why did the chicken cross the road in 2017? Because the sidewalk was “lava”!
3. The Coco Music: Why did Miguel bring his guitar to the cemetery? Because he wanted to play some “dead-ly” tunes.
4. The Nintendo Switch: Why was the console so good at sports? Because it could “switch” positions faster than any other player.
5. The Boss Baby Business: Why did the baby wear a suit? Because he had a very important “nap-pointment” at 2:00 PM.
6. The LEGO Batman Movie: Why does Batman only use black LEGO bricks? Because he’s “dark,” “brooding,” and doesn’t want to step on a yellow one in the middle of the night.
7. The Despicable Me 3: Why did Dru want to be a villain? Because he heard the “benefits” were evil-ly good (and included a lot of gadgets).
8. The Cars 3 Recovery: Why did Lightning McQueen go to the spa? To get a “re-tire-ment” plan that didn’t involve actually retiring.
9. The Star Wars: The Last Jedi: Why did Rey go to the island? To find Luke and ask him where he keeps the “Force” remote.
10. The Spider-Man: Homecoming: Why did Peter Parker fail his driving test? Because he kept trying to “web-igate” instead of using the steering wheel.

The Full 2017 Kids Archive

11. What do you call a dinosaur that’s an expert at using a fidget spinner? A “Spin-asaurus.”
12. Why did the laptop go to the doctor? It had a “hard drive” cough.
13. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
14. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
15. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
16. Why did the banana go to the nurse? It wasn’t peeling well.
17. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
18. Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.
19. What do you call a dog that does magic? A Labracadabrador.
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
21. What do you call a pile of kittens? A mew-ntain.
22. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
23. What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
24. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
25. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
26. Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
27. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
28. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
29. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A Zzz-rex.
30. Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
31. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
32. Why did the spider get a job on the internet? He was a great web designer.
33. What do you call a duck that’s a firecracker? A fire-quacker.
34. Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work over-time.
35. What do you call a cow that plays guitar? A moo-sician.
36. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
37. What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
38. Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
39. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
40. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
41. What do you call a snowman with a sunburn? A puddle.
42. Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To rattle some bones.
43. What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog.
44. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
45. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
46. Why did the boy put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
47. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
48. Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
49. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
50. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
51. What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
52. Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.
53. What do you call a pencil with two erasers? Pointless.
54. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was over-booked.