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Home » The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025 » 2012 Classic: The Killing Them Softly

2012 Classic: The Killing Them Softly

 I told her I’m a hitman. She told me I’m “killing her softly” with my terrible jokes.

Part of the 63 Marriage Jokes: The 2012 “End of the World & Instagram” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025

2017 Joke: My Wife And I
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.read more »
The Bed Space
A 50/50 split that feels more like 90/10.Marriage is a beautiful ...read more »
The New Dress
Navigating the most dangerous question in history.My wife asked i...read more »
2021 Joke: I Asked My Wife
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s ever been with. She s...read more »
A recent study has found that...
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weig...read more »
Why is this so relatable?
My wife asked me: „What are you doing today?” I said: „Nothing.” ...read more »
The Birthday Wish
A magical moment that reveals the truth about aging.My wife blew ...read more »
55 Marriage Jokes: The 2020 “Quarantine & Zoom” Edition
In 2020, marriage was an extreme endurance sport played entirely ...read more »
When a couple gets married, why...
When a couple gets married, why is it that the woman changes her ...read more »
The Snoring Symphony
Nighttime melodies that only a spouse can truly appreciate.My wif...read more »

😜 More from category: The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025

2000 Joke: A Happy Marriage Is
A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too sho...read more »
My wife and I were happy...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.read more »
2025 Archive: The Smart Bed
 It detects my snoring and tilts the mattress until I roll off on...read more »
63 Marriage Jokes: The 2009 “Avatar & FarmVille” Edition
In 2009, marriage was about navigating the "blue" obsession of&nb...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Java_Script_Kid04/23/2002 09:16Alert("HA HA HA HA!");
@Zelda_Link08/07/2000 21:37It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this joke.
@Pikachu_Fan_8807/15/2003 16:17Pika-pika! Translation: This is very funny!
@Incredibles_Dash11/02/2007 12:38That was super fast and super funny!
@C++_Dev_9811/28/2012 10:45I didn’t find any memory leaks in this joke. Perfect.
@Broadband_Newbie05/20/1996 23:55Is this what 128kbps feels like? Fast jokes!
@Judge_Dredd_Law01/24/1996 17:19I AM THE LAW! And the law says this is funny.
@White_Goodman_G02/10/2014 11:02We’re better than you, and we know it!
@Toolbar_Hater04/27/1997 04:24My browser is 50% toolbars, but I still see the joke!

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