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The New Dress

Navigating the most dangerous question in history.

My wife asked if her new dress made her look “expensive.” I said, “Based on our credit card statement, everything about you looks expensive.” I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.

🔥 Top 10: The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025

56 Marriage Jokes: The 2023 “Barbenheimer & AI” Edition
In 2023, marriage was about the high-stakes diplomacy of the "Bar...read more »
62 Marriage Jokes: The 2022 “Wordle & Multiverse” Edition
In 2022, marriage was about the high-stakes diplomacy of not spoi...read more »
2025 Classic: The Aura Tracker
 My watch told me I lost 500 "Aura points" for forgetting to say ...read more »
The Secret to 50 Years
Wisdom from a couple who survived the test of time.An old man was...read more »
59 Marriage Jokes: The 2008 “Iron Man & App Store” Edition
In 2008, marriage was about the high-stakes diplomacy of the hous...read more »
2024 Joke: Marriage Is When A
Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts w...read more »
The Snoring Symphony
Nighttime melodies that only a spouse can truly appreciate.My wif...read more »
My wife and I were happy...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.read more »
The Anniversary Gift
Finding the perfect balance between romantic and practical.For ou...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 6G Connection
 Everything is so fast. Now my wife’s "I told you so" reaches me ...read more »

😜 More from category: The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Legacy: The VR Sports
 I’m playing football in the kitchen. I tackled the refrigerator....read more »
65 Marriage Jokes: The 2025 “GPT-5 & Digital Twins” Edition
In 2025, marriage was about the high-stakes diplomacy of managing...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Smart Doorbell
 It won't let me in after 10 PM. It says, "User 'Husband' has exc...read more »
The Birthday Wish
A magical moment that reveals the truth about aging.My wife blew ...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Legally_Blonde_Elle05/15/1995 09:45What, like it’s hard to be funny?
@Doom_Marines04/10/2013 17:49Rip and tear... the floor from laughing!
@Titanic_Jack06/02/2010 14:12I am the king of the world... of laughing!
@Fight_Club_Tyler09/03/2007 20:56The first rule of joke club is... tell everyone!
@Offspring_Guy02/25/2013 16:33The kids aren’t alright, they’re laughing too hard.
@Rick_Roller_0711/01/2015 11:12Never gonna give you up... but I will give you a laugh!
@Homestar_Runner12/19/1998 03:24That’s a real terrific joke, Coach Z!
@Cool_Story_Bro09/25/2007 04:33Actually, it IS a cool story!

Yearly Joke Archive

3 thoughts on “The New Dress”

  1. User_473
    User_473 [Human Verified]

    i’ve been scrolling for 20 minutes and this is the first one that made me bark-laugh.

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