52 Kids Jokes: The 2014 “Everything is Awesome” Edition

In 2014, the peak of technology was taking a “selfie” (the word of the year!) and trying to survive five nights with animatronics. It was the year of The LEGO Movie, the arrival of Big Hero 6, and the era when everyone was dancing to “Uptown Funk.”

The 2014 Top 10: The “Awesome & Spooky” Hits

The LEGO Movie Logic: Why did the LEGO man go to the doctor? Because he had a “blockage” in his system!
The Five Nights at Freddy’s: Why don’t the animatronics ever eat? Because they’re already “stuffed.”
The Guardians of the Galaxy: Why is Groot so good at keeping secrets? Because he only ever tells you “I am Groot.”
The Ice Bucket Challenge: Why did the snowman refuse the challenge? He didn’t want to become a “puddle-thon.”
The Big Hero 6 Moment: Why did Baymax go to the gas station? He needed to get “re-inflated” after a long hug.
The Maleficent Twist: Why was Maleficent so good at school? Because she was a pro at “spelling.”
The How to Train Your Dragon 2: Why did Hiccup bring a ruler to the stable? To see how long “Toothless” really was.
The Pharrell Williams Effect: Why did the sun go to school? Because it wanted to be as “Happy” as Pharrell.
The Flappy Bird Legacy: Why did the kid throw his phone in 2014? He finally hit the pipe in Flappy Bird… in real life.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Why do the turtles hate the pizza delivery guy? Because he’s always “shell-shocked” by the bill.

The Full 2014 Kids Archive

What do you call a dinosaur that’s an expert at building LEGO? A “Block-asaurus.”
Why did the smartphone go to the party? Because it had a great “selfie-esteem.”
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Why did the banana go to the nurse? It wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why did the math book look so sad? It had too many problems.
What do you call a dog that does magic? A Labracadabrador.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A mew-ntain.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
Why did the spider get a job on the internet? He was a great web designer.
What do you call a duck that’s a firecracker? A fire-quacker.
Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work over-time.
What do you call a cow that plays guitar? A moo-sician.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-astrophe.
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed.
What do you call a snowman with a sunburn? A puddle.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To rattle some bones.
What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
Why did the boy put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.