A guy walks in and throws a rock at his own drink. The glass shatters. He says, “It’s okay, it’s supposed to be ‘armored’!” The bartender says, “That’s $5 for the glass and $50 for the cleanup, Elon.”
Part of the 54 Bar Jokes: The 2019 “Endgame & Joker” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2025 Vintage: The Vertical Farm Garnish
"This mint was grown three feet from your head."Part of the 30 B...read more »
2024 Classic: The Solar Eclipse
A guy walks into a bar on April 8th wearing cardboard glasses. H...read more »
79 Bar Jokes: The 1999 “Party Like It’s 1999 & Y2K Panic” Edition
In 1999, every night at the bar felt like the last night on Earth...read more »
2024 Legacy: The Tequila
One shot to be demure, two shots to be brat.Part of the 58 Bar J...read more »
The Mushroom Character
Why fungi are always the life of the party.A mushroom walks into ...read more »
55 Bar Jokes: The 2016 “Pokémon GO & Election” Edition
In 2016, the bar was no longer a sanctuary from the internet; it ...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Climate Change Cocktail
"I'll have a 'Melting Glacier'." The bartender gives him a glass...read more »
The Schrödinger Cat
The most famous cat in science makes an appearance.Schrödinger’s ...read more »
64 Bar Jokes: The 1996 “Microbrewery & Martini Mania” Edition
In 1996, bar conversations revolved around two things: whether th...read more »
52 Bar Jokes: The 2012 “End of the World & Gangnam Style” Edition
In 2012, bar culture was a mix of apocalypse parties and the peak...read more »
😜 More from category: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
The Talking Dog
Man’s best friend shows off a very profitable skill.A guy walks i...read more »
37 Celebrity Jokes: The 2006 “Very Nice!” Edition
In 2006, we were all trying to sound like a Kazakh journalist, le...read more »
71 Bar Jokes: The 2002 “Spider-Man & Euro Currency” Edition
In 2002, the bar scene was a mix of superhero hype and the birth ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Cyber-Bar
"Do you have a charger?" "For your phone, your car, your arm, or...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
I lost my stocks but I kept my sense of humor.
Plug and Play laughter!
Bureaucracy is boring, but this joke isn’t.
I did it all for the nookie... and the jokes!
I HAVE THE POWEEEEER... to laugh!
The stars are aligned for this joke.
Settle down everyone, a new joke just dropped.
Burninating the countryside with laughter!