37 Celebrity Jokes: The 2006 “Very Nice!” Edition

In 2006, we were all trying to sound like a Kazakh journalist, learning that we were “all in this together” at East High, and witnessing the birth of a 140-character addiction called Twitter. It was the year of the Nintendo Wii, the Pluto demotion, and the realization that Justin Timberlake was officially bringing “Sexy Back.”

The 2006 Top 10: The “Borat & High School Musical” Classics

1. Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat): Why was everyone saying “Very Nice!” in 2006? Because Borat proved that a lime-green mankini and a fake mustache were the only tools needed to make all of America feel extremely uncomfortable.
2. High School Musical: Why did every teenager start singing in the cafeteria? Because in 2006, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens convinced us that “Breaking Free” was easier than passing a math test.
3. Justin Timberlake: Why was 2006 so attractive? Because JT spent the entire year bringing “Sexy Back,” and we were all too busy dancing to ask where it had actually gone.
4. The Launch of Twitter: Why did we start “tweeting” in 2006? Because Jack Dorsey realized that the world’s problems could definitely be solved if we just limited our complaints to 140 characters.
5. Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada): Why was everyone terrified of “Cerulean” in 2006? Because Miranda Priestly proved that a silent stare and a coat-drop could ruin a career faster than a bad haircut.
6. The Nintendo Wii: Why was everyone’s living room dangerous in 2006? Because “Wii Sports” turned our grandmas into pro-bowlers and our TV screens into targets for flying remote controllers.
7. Pluto’s Demotion: Why was 2006 a bad year for space? Because scientists decided that Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore, making every elementary school science poster look like “fake news.”
8. Beyoncé (Irreplaceable): Why was everything “To the left, to the left”? Because in 2006, Beyoncé gave every woman the perfect instructions on how to pack up their boyfriend’s stuff in a cardboard box.
9. Daniel Craig (Casino Royale): Why did James Bond stop being a joke? Because in 2006, Daniel Craig walked out of the ocean in blue trunks and proved that Bond could actually bleed, sweat, and look good doing it.
10. The Crocodile Hunter: Why was 2006 so heartbreaking? Because we lost Steve Irwin, the only man who could call a deadly 15-foot alligator a “gorgeous little beauty” and actually mean it.

The Full 2006 Celebrity Jokes Archive

11. Amy Winehouse (Rehab): Why did she say “No, No, No”? Because in 2006, she gave us the catchiest song about a serious medical intervention in music history.
12. Pirates of the Caribbean (Dead Man’s Chest): Why did Jack Sparrow have a jar of dirt? Because in 2006, Disney proved that fans would pay $1 billion to see Johnny Depp run away from a guy with a squid for a face.
13. Fergie (The Dutchess): Why were we “Fergalicious”? Because in 2006, Fergie taught us that “tasty” has an extra ‘S’ and that being in the Black Eyed Peas was just her warm-up.
14. 30 Rock: Why was Tina Fey so stressed? Because in 2006, she started a show about a show, proving that working in TV is mostly just eating night-cheese and managing Alec Baldwin.
15. Taylor Swift (Debut): Why was a girl in a sundress singing about “Tim McGraw”? Because in 2006, Taylor Swift began her plan to eventually own the entire music industry, one breakup at a time.
16. The Departed: Why was everyone a rat? Because Martin Scorsese decided that in 2006, the only thing better than a Boston accent was Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon trying to out-lie each other.
17. Shakira & Wyclef Jean: Why were her “Hips Don’t Lie” the anthem of 2006? Because we finally had a medical reason for why we couldn’t stop dancing in the grocery store.
18. Pan’s Labyrinth: Why was there a guy with eyes in his hands? Because in 2006, Guillermo del Toro decided that our nightmares weren’t quite vivid enough.
19. Snakes on a Plane: Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired? Because in 2006, he had “had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!”
20. Gnarls Barkley (Crazy): Why did we all lose our minds? Because CeeLo Green and Danger Mouse created a song so good it made us question our own sanity in 2006.
21. The Da Vinci Code: Why was Tom Hanks looking at paintings? Because in 2006, we all became amateur art historians who were convinced the Mona Lisa was hiding a secret bank account.
22. Nelly Furtado: Why was she a “Maneater”? Because in 2006, Timbaland’s beats were so heavy they could make a Canadian folk singer sound like a club queen.
23. Little Miss Sunshine: Why was the yellow van breaking down? Because in 2006, we learned that family bonding is best achieved through a dysfunctional road trip and a dance routine to “Super Freak.”
24. Paris Hilton (Stars Are Blind): Why did she release a reggae song? Because in 2006, being “Famous for Being Famous” meant you were legally required to record a single that sounded like a vacation in the Maldives.
25. The Prestige vs. The Illusionist: Why were there two magic movies? Because in 2006, Hollywood wanted to see if we could tell the difference between Christian Bale and Edward Norton in a top hat.
26. Rihanna (SOS): Why was she “Tainted Love”-ing? Because in 2006, she realized that sampling the 80s was the fastest way to get everyone on the dance floor.
27. Ugly Betty: Why was she wearing braces? Because in 2006, America Ferrera proved that you could conquer the fashion world with a positive attitude and a very colorful poncho.
28. Dexter: Why was the blood spatter expert so creepy? Because in 2006, we started rooting for a serial killer just because he only targeted people who were even worse than him.
29. My Chemical Romance: Why were we all at “The Black Parade”? Because in 2006, emo reached its final form with marching bands, white face paint, and a lot of eyeliner.
30. Talladega Nights: Why did Ricky Bobby want to go fast? Because in 2006, Will Ferrell taught us that “if you ain’t first, you’re last,” and that baby Jesus prefers the tuxedo shirt.
31. The Killers (Sam’s Town): Why were they wearing western gear? Because in 2006, Brandon Flowers decided that being from Las Vegas meant you had to look like a glamorous cowboy.
32. Marie Antoinette: Why was there a pair of Converse in 18th-century France? Because Kirsten Dunst and Sofia Coppola wanted to show that even queens in 2006 liked indie rock and cake.
33. John Mayer (Continuum): Why was he “Waiting on the World to Change”? Because in 2006, we were all too busy checking our MySpace profiles to actually do anything about it.
34. Cars (Pixar): Why was the red car so fast? Because Owen Wilson’s “Ka-chow!” became the most repeated phrase by every five-year-old on the planet in 2006.
35. The Pussycat Dolls (Buttons): Why were they asking us to “loosen up my buttons”? Because in 2006, they were the only ones who knew how to make a song about getting dressed sound like a workout.
36. Rocky Balboa: Why was he back in the ring? Because in 2006, Sylvester Stallone proved that you’re never too old to punch a side of beef and win an Oscar-nominated comeback.
37. Twitter (First Tweet): Why did Jack Dorsey write “just setting up my twttr”? Because in 2006, vowels were apparently too expensive for the future of social media.