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Home » The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2013 Archive: The Professional Ego

2013 Archive: The Professional Ego

 Why does a lawyer never use “DuckDuckGo”? Because he wants Google to know exactly how much trouble he’s planning to cause.

Part of the 46 Lawyer Jokes: The 2013 “Vine Loops & Wall Street Wolves” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Archive: The Meta-Liability
 A lawyer sued a user in the Metaverse for "virtual assault" afte...read more »
2025 Archive: The Hourly Rate
 He charged for "Mental Syncing with the LLM"—the time it takes f...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Closing Argument
 A lawyer crossed the road to serve a subpoena to a "Fully Autono...read more »
2025 Archive: The ChatGPT-6 Hallucination
 A lawyer cited a law that was passed in the year 2040. He argued...read more »
50 Lawyer Jokes: The 2014 “Alexa & The Frozen Tundra” Edition
In 2014, the legal world realized that "privacy" was officially a...read more »
52 Lawyer Jokes: The 2000 “Dot-Com Crash & Nokia 3310” Edition
In 2000, the "New Economy" met the "Old Reality." Lawyers spent t...read more »
The Bus Load
A mathematical tragedy involving a full bus and a missed opportun...read more »
2025 Archive: The Graduation
 A lawyer who graduated in 2025 is "someone who knows how to blam...read more »
The Cat and Dog Case
When even pets need legal representation.A dog walks into a law o...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Legacy
 The most 2025 thing a lawyer did was bill a client for "Time spe...read more »

😜 More from category: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Classic: The Virtual Gavel
 Why did the judge use a digital gavel? To "mute" any lawyer whos...read more »
The Retainer Fee
The upfront cost of a good (or bad) defense.My lawyer told me my ...read more »
51 Lawyer Jokes: The 2017 “Alternative Facts & Battle Royales” Edition
In 2017, the legal world learned that if you don't like the evide...read more »
The Witness Stand
A masterclass in asking the right questions at the wrong time."Is...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@WebSurfer_X09/20/2004 05:10Anyone else reading this in the middle of the night? LOL!
@AltaVista_Pro02/28/2012 17:45Best result I ever found on a search engine.
@PalmPilot_Pro09/20/2007 08:23Wrote this down with my stylus. Great!
@Toy_Story_Buzz01/13/2010 00:24To infinity and beyond hilarious!
@Gladiator_Maximus04/11/2004 13:24Are you not entertained? Because I am!
@O_Ren_Ishii_Fan12/26/2008 20:54Silently laughing in the snow.
@Double_Rainbow_G11/03/2007 01:28What does it mean?! It’s so funny!
@Tagged_Network09/06/2009 16:18You’ve been tagged... with a funny joke!
@Tay_Zonday_Fan07/13/2006 03:00Chocolate Rain... some stay dry, others laugh.

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