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The Witness Stand

A masterclass in asking the right questions at the wrong time.

“Is it true,” the lawyer asked, “that you were unconscious until the ambulance arrived?” “Yes,” the witness replied. “And is it true that you died shortly after?”

🔥 Top 10: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Archive: The Prompt Audit
 A lawyer was sued for "negligent prompting" after his AI-generat...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Legacy
 The most 2025 thing a lawyer did was bill a client for "Time spe...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Professional Ego
 A lawyer never uses "Suggested Replies" because he thinks his ow...read more »
The Shark Protection
Professional courtesy exists even in the deepest parts of the oce...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Closing Argument
 A lawyer crossed the road to serve a subpoena to a "Fully Autono...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Divorce Settlement
 The lawyer got the "AI Assistant's Memory" because it was the on...read more »
51 Lawyer Jokes: The 2011 “Siri & The Patent Wars” Edition
In 2011, the legal world realized that everything you say can and...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Tech Support
 "Can you make my billing software compatible with my conscience?...read more »
48 Lawyer Jokes: The 1996 “Fax Machines & Fine Print” Edition
In 1996, the legal world went digital—sort of. If you didn’t have...read more »
50 Lawyer Jokes: The 2014 “Alexa & The Frozen Tundra” Edition
In 2014, the legal world realized that "privacy" was officially a...read more »

😜 More from category: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Archive: The Apple Vision Pro 3
 A lawyer used the headset to see a "truth-meter" over the witnes...read more »
2025 Archive: The Small Print
 He used "Silicon Valley Gray" font to make the fees look like a ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Robot Divorce
 A lawyer represented a human suing a robot for divorce. The main...read more »
The Buried Treasure
Finding value in the most unexpected places.What’s the difference...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Hotmail_Original10/20/2010 12:38Sent this to 10 friends via chain mail. Sorry!
@SpiderMan_Tobey03/17/2008 16:47With great power comes great responsibility... to laugh.
@Linux_Distro_User06/19/2013 06:24Compiled this from source. 10/10.
@Silk_Road_Ghost01/10/2001 09:29Trading jokes in the shadows.
@David_After_Dent06/11/1996 14:28Is this real life? Or is it just funny?

Yearly Joke Archive

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