A guy orders a drink and says, “Protect yourself at all times.” The bartender says, “I’m the one with the bouncer, pal. You’re the one who needs protection from this tab.”
Part of the 73 Bar Jokes: The 2005 “YouTube & How I Met Your Mother” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2025 Vintage: The Space Tourist
A guy walks in with zero-gravity hair and says, "The Guinness po...read more »
The Cliffhanger
Ending the night on a very high note.A guy walks into a bar at th...read more »
The Dyslexic Entry
A linguistic twist on a familiar scene.A dyslexic man walks into ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Universal Basic Income
A guy orders a beer and says, "Government's buying!" The bartend...read more »
64 Bar Jokes: The 1996 “Microbrewery & Martini Mania” Edition
In 1996, bar conversations revolved around two things: whether th...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Music
The AI-DJ creates a song based on the bar's current mood. It’s m...read more »
53 Bar Jokes: The 2015 “Star Wars & Hotline Bling” Edition
In 2015, the bar was a place of high-stakes internet debates and ...read more »
The Past Tense
Grammar humor for the more sophisticated drinker.The past, presen...read more »
51 Bar Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner & Bitcoin Boom” Edition
In 2017, the bar was divided into two groups: people trying to ex...read more »
2025 Classic: The 2025 Fashion
A guy walks in wearing a suit made of flexible OLED screens. The...read more »
😜 More from category: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2024 Classic: The 2024 Ending
"Happy New Year! 2025 is going to be the year we finally find ou...read more »
56 Bar Jokes: The 1995 “Neon Signs & Jukebox” Edition
In 1995, bar humor was built on the classic "A guy walks into a b...read more »
53 Bar Jokes: The 2013 “Selfie & Harlem Shake” Edition
In 2013, if you didn't take a picture with your drink, it was lik...read more »
The Mushroom Character
Why fungi are always the life of the party.A mushroom walks into ...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Drama in the pool, but laughs in the archive.
Dee Dee! Get out of my laboratory! I’m reading!
The things I do for laughs! Stupid dog!
I’m paying 2 bucks an hour just to read these. Money well spent!
Work, work... and laugh, laugh!
I like it when the jokes are... rusty.
Shut up and take my laughter!