53 Bar Jokes: The 2015 “Star Wars & Hotline Bling” Edition

In 2015, the bar was a place of high-stakes internet debates and cinematic nostalgia. If you weren’t “checking in” on your Apple Watch, you were probably arguing about the color of a dress or waiting for a trailer to drop. It was the year of the “Man Bun,” the rise of the “Dad Bod,” and the moment everyone started putting cucumber and peppercorns in their Gin & Tonics.

The 2015 Top 10: The “Force Awakens & Viral Debates” Jokes

1. The Dress: A guy walks into a bar wearing a blue and black shirt. The bartender says, “Nice gold and white shirt, pal.” The guy says, “Don’t you start, Gary. I just want a beer and some peace.”
2. The Hotline Bling: A guy starts dancing awkwardly in a puffy red jacket. The bartender asks, “Back problems?” The guy says, “No, it’s the Drake look. You used to call me on my cell phone…” The bartender says, “Yeah, to tell you that you left your credit card here again.”
3. The Force Awakens: A guy walks into a bar with a rolling ball droid. The bartender says, “We don’t serve droids.” The guy says, “It’s okay, he’s BB-8. He’s got his own charging port and he’s a great designated driver.”
4. The Man Bun: A guy with a tiny ponytail on the very top of his head orders a kale-infused gin. The bartender says, “I’ll give you the drink, but only if you promise not to tell me about your ‘lifestyle blog’.”
5. The Mad Max: A guy walks in covered in silver spray paint and yelling, “WITNESS ME!” The bartender hands him a water and says, “Witnessing you being sober for the rest of the night, Immortan Joe. Sit down.”
6. The Apple Watch: A guy keeps raising his wrist to his face every thirty seconds. The bartender asks, “Is time moving that fast?” The guy says, “No, I’m just checking how many calories I burn while lifting this pint. It’s 0.04.”
7. The Jurassic World: A guy walks in and tries to calm down three angry drunks by holding his hands out like Chris Pratt. The bartender says, “They aren’t raptors, Owen. They’re just frustrated accountants. Stop it.”
8. The Hoverboard: A guy rolls into the bar on a two-wheeled self-balancing board that definitely doesn’t hover. The bartender says, “Park that fire hazard outside. We’ve all seen the YouTube videos of them exploding.”
9. The Dad Bod: A guy pats his slight belly and says, “It’s not a gut, it’s a ‘Dad Bod’. It’s trendy now.” The bartender says, “Cool, then you won’t mind that this ‘Craft Lager’ is actually just a Budweiser in a fancy glass.”
10. The Netflix and Chill: A guy asks a girl, “Want to come over for some Netflix and chill?” She says, “I’d rather stay here and ‘Whiskey and actually talk’.” The bartender gives her a drink on the house.

The Full 2015 Bar Archive (Selected Quality List)

11. The Gin & Tonic Revolution: “Why is there a salad in my gin?” “It’s ‘botanicals’, Steve. Drink your garden and be quiet.”
12. The Left Shark: A guy in a clumsy shark costume walks in and starts dancing off-beat. The bartender says, “Super Bowl was months ago, buddy. You’re late.”
13. The Martian: A guy orders a drink and says, “I’m going to have to science the s*** out of this hangover.”
14. The Inside Out: A guy orders five shots and says, “One for Joy, one for Sadness, one for Anger, one for Fear, and one for Disgust. I’m having an emotional evening.”
15. The Hello (Adele): “Hello from the other side!” “The other side of the bar is closed, Adele. Move to the middle.”
16. The Peaky Blinders: Suddenly, every guy in the bar is wearing a flat cap and asking for “Irish whiskey, no ice.”
17. The Hamilton: A guy starts rapping about the US financial system. The bartender says, “I am not throwing away my shot… to tell you to shut up.”
18. The Periscope: A guy is live-streaming his drink to three people in Japan.
19. The Straight Outta Compton: A guy walks in with a black and white sign that says “Straight Outta Patience.”
20. The Minions: A guy orders a “Banana Daiquiri” and giggles. The bartender sighs, “Too much yellow this year. Way too much yellow.”
21. The Tinder 2015: “I found a match!” “Is it a human or a bot selling webcams?” “I’ll tell you after the first round.”
22. The 1-Star Review: A guy says, “I’m giving this bar one star on Yelp because you don’t have USB ports in the tables.”
23. The Craft Spirits: “This vodka was distilled from the tears of artisanal potatoes.” “That’ll be $18.”
24. The Rocket Man: A guy says, “Elon Musk is going to Mars!” The bartender says, “I’ll believe it when he orders a drink from the Red Planet.”
25. The Fast & Furious 7: “One last ride.” “You said that last week, Vin. Just order the Corona.”
26. The Fifty Shades Part 2: A woman asks for a “Red Room” cocktail. The bartender gives her a Shirley Temple with a dark secret.
27. The Spectre: A guy orders a Heineken and says, “Bond changed, so did I.”
28. The Hateful Eight: Eight guys walk in and start arguing. The bartender says, “Nobody leaves until I find out who didn’t pay the tab!”
29. The Revenant: A guy walks in looking like he was mauled by a bear. The bartender asks, “Rough night?” The guy whispers, “I just want an Oscar… and a warm cider.”
30. The Bieber Comeback: “Is it too late now to say sorry?” “For the 2010 haircut? Yes. For the bar bill? No.”
31. The Craft Beer Snob: “Does this IPA have a high IBU?” “It’s bitter enough to match your personality.”
32. The Moscow Mule: The copper mug is officially the “I don’t know what to order” default.
33. The Old Fashioned: “Still here, still classy, still takes too long to make.”
34. The White Russian: “The Dude abides in the era of streaming.”
35. The Jägerbomb: The constant in an ever-changing world.
36. The Margarita: “Saltier than a fan who didn’t get tickets to the new Star Wars.”
37. The Tequila: One shot to dance like Drake, two to believe you look like him.
38. The Whiskey Sour: “As sour as the comments on a political Facebook post.”
39. The Dark and Stormy: “Like the plot of a Marvel movie.”
40. The Sex on the Beach: “Can we rename this ‘The Instagram Opportunity’?”
41. The Kamikaze: “To the year of the comeback!”
42. The B-52: “Light it up like a new iPad Pro.”
43. The Mimosa: “The brunch fuel of 2015.”
44. The Sangria: “Because one bottle of wine is never enough fruit.”
45. The Draft Beer: “Reliable, unlike my Wi-Fi.”
46. The Coaster: A guy tries to pay by tapping his phone on the coaster.
47. The Bar Snack: “Are these peanuts artisanal?” “They’re just nuts, Dave.”
48. The Ice Cube: “I’m a clear ice sphere. I’m fancy now.”
49. The Bottle Opener: “The only tool that hasn’t been replaced by an app.”
50. The Bar Stool: “Reserved for the guy with the most ‘checked-in’ locations.”
51. The Neon Sign: “The original blue-light filter.”
52. The 2015 Ending: “Next year is 2016! Surely it will be a calm and peaceful year.” The bartender laughs and laughs.
53. The New Year’s Resolution: “In 2016, I’m going to cut off my man bun. Maybe.”