52 Bar Jokes: The 2018 “Infinity War & Fortnite” Edition

In 2018, the bar was a place where “Flossing” wasn’t about dental hygiene and “Snapchat” was secondary to “The Snap.” It was the year of the royal wedding (Harry and Meghan), the rise of the “TikTok” precursors, and the moment everyone realized that Elon Musk actually sent a car into space. If you weren’t “Default Dancing” after a craft cider, were you even there?

The 2018 Top 10: The “Thanos & Flossing” Jokes

1. The Thanos Snap: A guy walks into a bar, snaps his fingers, and half the people leave. The bartender says, “Finally, some peace and quiet. Did you do that with an Infinity Stone or just a really bad personality?”
2. The Fortnite Dance: A guy starts swinging his arms side-to-side in a frantic motion. The bartender asks, “Are you having a medical emergency?” The guy says, “No, I’m doing the ‘Floss’! I just got a Victory Royale!” The bartender says, “You’re about to get a ‘Victory Ban’ if you don’t stop hitting the other customers.”
3. The Avengers: Infinity War: A guy walks in and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we’re at 50% capacity.” The guy asks, “Fire code?” The bartender says, “No, Thanos was here ten minutes ago. It’s perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”
4. The Elon Musk Space Car: A guy walks into a bar and says, “There’s a Tesla orbiting the sun right now!” The bartender says, “And there’s a guy orbiting a hangover right now. Sit down and drink your beer, Starman.”
5. The Black Panther: A guy walks in, crosses his arms over his chest and yells, “WAKANDA FOREVER!” The bartender says, “WAKANDA BEER DO YOU WANT? Order or move on.”
6. The Royal Wedding: A guy walks in wearing a ginger wig and a military uniform. The bartender asks, “Prince Harry?” The guy says, “No, I just wanted to see if I could get a drink without a background check.”
7. The Tide Pod Part 2: A guy orders a drink and asks, “Does this look like it would clean my clothes?” The bartender says, “It’s 2018. If you eat laundry detergent, I’m calling the police and your mother.”
8. The A Star Is Born: A girl starts singing “Shallow” at the top of her lungs. A guy joins in with a deep growl. The bartender says, “I’m off the deep end, too—mostly because of you two. Shut it.”
9. The Bohemian Rhapsody: The jukebox plays Queen. A guy starts doing the “Galileo” high notes. The bartender says, “Mama, just killed a man… or I’m about to if he doesn’t stop singing.”
10. The Alexa: A guy shouts, “Alexa, order me a beer!” The bartender says, “My name is Mike, I’m a human being, and you still have to pay cash.”

The Full 2018 Bar Archive (Selected Quality List)

11. The Fortnite Default Dance: A guy walks in and does the clap-and-kick dance. The bouncer says, “Take that back to the lobby.”
12. The Bird Box: A guy walks into a bar with a blindfold on. He hits the pool table, a chair, and a wall. The bartender says, “I guess you’re not seeing the ‘No Entry’ sign.”
13. The Incredibles 2: “I waited 14 years for this sequel!” “I’ve waited 14 minutes for you to pick a beer. We’re even.”
14. The Red Dead Redemption 2: A guy walks in and says, “I have a plan!” The bartender says, “Does it involve paying your tab, Dutch?”
15. The Venom: A guy starts talking to himself in a deep, gravelly voice. “We are hungry!” The bartender says, “We have wings. $10.”
16. The Spider-Verse: A guy walks in and says, “I’m a Spider-Man from another dimension.” The bartender says, “In this dimension, you’re just a guy who needs a taxi.”
17. The Jurassic World 2: “Why are there dinosaurs everywhere?” “It’s 2018, everything is a reboot.”
18. The Solo: A Star Wars Story: A guy walks in alone and says, “I’m Solo.” The bartender says, “Yeah, I can see that. No one wants to sit near the guy talking like a space pilot.”
19. The Facebook Privacy: A guy says, “Mark Zuckerberg is watching me!” The bartender says, “Unless he’s going to buy you a round, I don’t care.”
20. The IHOb: A guy asks, “Do you serve burgers now?” The bartender says, “This is a bar, not a pancake house that’s having an identity crisis.”
21. The Grinch: A guy walks in and tries to steal the Christmas decorations in July.
22. The Mission Impossible: Fallout: A guy tries to jump from the balcony to the bar. He misses.
23. The Queer Eye: Five guys walk in and start critiquing the bar’s decor and the bartender’s beard.
24. The Aquaman: A guy orders a drink and says, “I talk to fish.” The bartender says, “Tell the sardines in the tin to pay up.”
25. The Mary Poppins Returns: A woman walks in with a talking umbrella.
26. The Halloween Reboot: An old man in a mask walks in. “I’m back!” The bartender says, “You’ve been back every October for 40 years, Michael.”
27. The Crazy Rich Asians: A guy tries to pay with a gold bar.
28. The Roma: A guy orders a drink and insists the whole bar watch it in black and white.
29. The Bumble Date: “Is she coming?” “She said she’d be here, but she has to message first.” “It’s 2018, good luck with that.”
30. The TikTok (Musical.ly): A girl starts lip-syncing to her drink.
31. The Craft Beer Overload: “Does this beer have notes of ‘I’m better than you’?” “Yes, it’s a Triple IPA.”
32. The Moscow Mule: Still in the copper mug. It’s the only thing that didn’t get snapped.
33. The Old Fashioned: “Still here, still stirring.”
34. The White Russian: “The Dude is 2018-ready.”
35. The Jägerbomb: The “Battle Royale” of shots.
36. The Margarita: “Saltier than a guy who died in the first five minutes of Infinity War.”
37. The Tequila: One shot to forget the internet, two to think you can “Floss.”
38. The Whiskey Sour: “As sour as a Marvel fan after the ending.”
39. The Dark and Stormy: “Like the plot of a Netflix original series.”
40. The Sex on the Beach: “Can I get a filter on this?” “No, just a lime.”
41. The Kamikaze: “To the year of the snap!”
42. The B-52: “Light it up like a rocket engine.”
43. The Mimosa: “The only thing that makes the Royal Wedding replays bearable.”
44. The Sangria: “Wine, fruit, and a plan for the future.”
45. The Draft Beer: “Real, cold, and not a CGI effect.”
46. The Coaster: A guy tries to use the coaster as a shield.
47. The Bar Snack: “Are these peanuts ‘Endgame’ spoilers?”
48. The Ice Cube: “I’m a giant ice sphere. I’m the main character now.”
49. The Bottle Opener: “Still manual, still essential.”
50. The Bar Stool: “Reserved for the ‘Victory Royale’ winner.”
51. The 2018 Ending: “Next year we finish the Avengers!” “And I finish this tab,” says the bartender.
52. The New Year’s Resolution: “In 2019, I’m going to stop doing Fortnite dances in public.”