2013 Archive: Worst Actress Runner-up
Why Lindsay Lohan for The Canyons? For a movie that was billed as a comeback but felt like a “don’t come back.” Part of the 34… Read More »2013 Archive: Worst Actress Runner-up
2013 Vintage: The Puffy Jacket Pew Wedge
A teenager trying to slide into a crowded row while wearing a giant, swishing nylon sports jacket, accidentally pulling three hymnals and a box of… Read More »2013 Vintage: The Puffy Jacket Pew Wedge
2013 Legacy: The Pope Change
Why was there a new guy in the Vatican? Because Pope Benedict retired, and Pope Francis showed up to remind us that “cool popes” are… Read More »2013 Legacy: The Pope Change
2013 Legacy: Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up
Why Salma Hayek for Grown Ups 2? For proving that even the most talented stars will do anything for an easy paycheck. Part of the 34… Read More »2013 Legacy: Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up
2013 Vintage: The Specialist
I went to a ‘Cloud Specialist.’ He didn’t check my lungs; he just tried to upsell me more storage for my medical files. Part of… Read More »2013 Vintage: The Specialist
2012 Legacy: The Carpeted Altar Trackway
The sanctuary platform featuring thick, deep-pile red carpeting that preserves the exact footprints of the altar servers for several hours after the service ends. Part… Read More »2012 Legacy: The Carpeted Altar Trackway
2012 Archive: The 50 Shades Tie
“Why are you wearing a tie in the bedroom?” “To show my dominance.” “You look like you’re late for a job interview you won’t get.” Part… Read More »2012 Archive: The 50 Shades Tie
2012 Classic: The Laptop “Instant-On”
Why was the salesman so fast? “My computer wakes up before I do! It’s ready to fail in record time!” Part of the 80 Office… Read More »2012 Classic: The Laptop “Instant-On”
2012 Vintage: The Mars “Curiosity” Mohawk
Why did the tech guy have a red mohawk? Because if you work for NASA, you can have any hairstyle you want as long as… Read More »2012 Vintage: The Mars “Curiosity” Mohawk
2011 Legacy: The Doris
Knock, knock. / Who’s there? / Doris. / Doris who? / Doris locked, find the key! Part of the 35 Classic Knock-Knock Jokes: The 2011… Read More »2011 Legacy: The Doris