54 Original Dad Jokes: The 2003 “Finding Nemo” Edition

By 2003, the 21st century was starting to feel like home. While the kids were busy with their first camera phones or watching Pixar’s latest underwater adventure, dads were busy updating their arsenal of puns. This collection reflects the classic “dry” humor of 2003—the kind of jokes shared over a backyard BBQ or while waiting for a dial-up connection to finally drop in favor of broadband.

The 2003 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Finding Nemo: Why did the fish stay in the back of the tank? He was a little “clown” fish.
The Skype Call: Why did the dad put his ear to the computer screen? He was waiting for a “long distance” call from the future.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why did the dad put a “Terminator” sticker on the governor’s office? Because he said, “I’ll be back” (to work).
The Apple iTunes: Why did the dad put his music in the fruit bowl? He heard about the new “Apple” store.
The Lord of the Rings: Why did the hobbit get kicked out of the jewelry store? He was caught “precious-ing” the merchandise.
The Matrix Reloaded: Why did the dad buy two copies of the same movie? He wanted to see the “Matrix” reloaded.
The Camera Phone: Why did the dad smile at his flip phone? He heard it was “developing” a personality.
The Mars Rover: Why did the dad throw a rock at the red planet? He wanted to see a “Spirit” landing.
The Beyoncé: Why did the dad put a ring on his finger before the party? Because he was “Crazy in Love” with his own jokes.
The Bluetooth: Why did the dad go to the dentist before buying a new headset? He wanted to make sure his “Blue-tooth” was working.

The Full 2003 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Bread: Why did the loaf of bread go to the doctor? It was feeling “yeasty.”
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a sore loser? A “cry-bee.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to sleep? It was “board” to death.
The Ghost’s Job: Why did the ghost join the police force? To work on “under-cover” operations.
The Empty Glass: Why was the glass so happy? Because it was “half-full” of potential.
The Broken Compass: Why did the explorer get lost? He had “no direction” in life.
The Brave Carrot: Why did the carrot go to the gym? To get some “root” strength.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a professional athlete? An “ant-hlete.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the theater? To see a “boo-vical.”
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so light? It was made of “mist-ery.”
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a spy? “Ant-elligence.”
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants use elevators? Because they’re afraid of the “trunk” space.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a pilot? A “ham-bulance” driver.
The Scared Bird: Why did the eagle get a promotion? He had a “bird’s eye” view of the company.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a librarian? A “read-it” frog.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider get a job in fashion? He was a “web” designer.
)The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a doctor? A “cur-ative” canine.
The Scared Tree: Why did the oak tree go to the bank? To open a “branch” office.
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s a storyteller? A “mountain” of lies.
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the beach? To check its “surf-ace.”
The Little Star: Why did the sun go to the party? To “brighten” everyone’s day.
The Scared Road: Why was the street so tired? It was “tired” of being paved.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a gardener? A “plant-ant.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite snack? “Boos-cuits.”
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a ticket? It was “speeding” through the sky.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the circus? He was a “web-obat.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a chef? A “mutt-on” expert.
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants never forget? Because they have “big” memories.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a scientist? “Ham-stein.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot go to the party? He wanted to “poly-socialize.”
The Bank Statement: Why did the dad stare at his bank account? He was trying to “balance” his life.
The Coffee Maker: Why was the coffee maker so proud? It was “brewing” something special.
The Gym Locker: Why did the locker go to school? To get “smarter” about safety.
The Little Moon: Why did the moon go to the dentist? To get its “craters” filled.
The Scared Baker: Why did the baker go to the beach? He heard the “rolls” were coming in.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a lawyer? A “buzz-tice.”
The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the party? To meet new “pave-ments.”
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a musician? A “croak-er.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the library? To find some “ghoul-books.”
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so sad? It had “rain-y” days.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the doctor? He had “eight-aches.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a detective? “Sherlock Bones.”
The Cargo Belt: Why did the dad buy a new belt in 2003? Because he needed more “support” for his growing collection of dad jokes.