59 Original Dad Jokes: The 2013 “Frozen” Edition

In 2013, you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing “Let It Go” or seeing someone do the “Harlem Shake.” While the kids were busy taking “selfies” (the word of the year) and playing Flappy Bird, dads were busy updating their analog puns for a world that was becoming increasingly digital. This is the definitive 2013 collection of dad wit—guaranteed to be as “cool” as Elsa’s ice palace.

The 2013 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Frozen Movie: Why did the dad refuse to help his kids build a snowman? He told them to “Let It Go.”
The Selfie: Why did the dad take a photo of his own shelf? He wanted to take a “shelf-ie.”
The Harlem Shake: Why did the dad start shaking his rug in the living room? He heard it was the latest “Harlem Shake” trend.
The GTA V: Why did the dad love the new game? Because it was the only place he could drive as fast as he wanted without a “ticket” from mom.
The Netflix Binge: Why did the dad stare at the TV for 10 hours straight? He was practicing for his “professional binge-watching” license.
The Flappy Bird: Why was the bird so upset in 2013? Because everyone kept “tapping” its potential.
The Vine App: Why did the dad start talking in 6-second intervals? He thought his life was becoming a “Vine.”
The Pope Francis: Why did the dad buy a new white hat? He heard there was a “new boss” in town and wanted to fit in.
The Despicable Me 2: Why did the dad start wearing overalls? He wanted to be “Minion-ally” dressed for the weekend.
The Smartwatch: Why did the dad talk to his wrist in 2013? He heard his watch was “smart,” but it still wouldn’t tell him where he left his keys.

The Full 2013 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Broom: Why did the broom get a promotion? It “swept” the competition.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a professional singer? A “hum-singer.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to the bank? To get some “balance” in its account.
The Ghost’s Diet: Why do ghosts love diet soda? Because they want to stay “transparent.”
The Empty Wallet: Why is my wallet like a library? People only visit it to “borrow” things.
The Broken Fence: Why did the dad talk to the fence? He wanted to have a “gate” conversation.
The Brave Sandwich: Why did the sandwich go to the gym? To get some “shredded” lettuce.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-i-dote.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost join the police? He wanted to work on “cold” cases.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so happy? It was “mist” in love.
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a designer? A “boa” constructor.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s 100 years old? An “anti-que.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants never use computers? Because they’re afraid of the “mouse.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a genius? “Ham-stein.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the penguin go to the bank? To “freeze” his assets.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly-catcher.”
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the circus? He was a “web-obat.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a scientist? A “Beagle” assistant.
The Scared Tree: Why did the oak tree go to the dentist? It needed a “root” canal.
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s a comedian? “Hill-arious.”
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the tailor? To fix its “hard-wear.”
The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the party? It was “beaming” with pride.
The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “pave-ment” issues.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a scientist? An “ant-alyst.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite food? “Soul” food.
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? Because it was “cirrus-ly” talented.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the gym? To work on its “web” strength.
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a detective? “Sherlock Bones.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
The Scared Baker: Why did the baker get arrested? He was caught “rolling” in the dough.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a king? A “wasp-er.”
The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the doctor? It had “asphalt” issues.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly” catcher.
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so angry? It was “storming” out.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the computer? To fix his “home-page.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a mechanic? A “bark-ing” brake expert.
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants go to the city? They’re afraid of the “trunk” traffic.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a soldier? A “ham-burger.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot go to the party? He wanted to “poly-socialize.”
The Bank Statement: Why did the dad stare at his bank account? He was trying to “balance” his life.
The Coffee Maker: Why was the coffee maker so proud? It was “brewing” something special.
The Ice Palace: Why did the dad build his house out of ice in 2013? Because he wanted a “cool” place to store his bad jokes.