48 Original Dad Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner” Edition

In 2017, everyone was spinning. While kids were mastering finger tricks with their new fidget gadgets and the world was watching the first solar eclipse to cross America in a century, dads were busy updating their analog puns. This is the definitive 2017 archive—jokes that are as catchy as a summer hit and twice as annoying when repeated at the dinner table.

The 2017 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Fidget Spinner: Why did the dad start spinning his wedding ring? He heard he needed to be a “pro-fidgeter” to stay young.
The Despacito: Why did the dad take so long to mow the lawn in 2017? Because he was doing it “Despa-slow-ly.”
The Bitcoin Boom: Why did the dad put actual coins in his computer’s CD drive? He was trying to “mine” some digital gold.
The Solar Eclipse: Why did the dad bring a moon pie to the eclipse? He wanted to have a “total” snack experience.
The Nintendo Switch: Why was the dad so happy with the new console? Because he could finally “switch” from doing chores to playing games anywhere.
The Wonder Woman: What do you call a dad who’s great at multitasking? “Wonder-Dad” (he wonders where he left his keys).
The iPhone X: Why did the dad try to “unlock” his face with a key? He heard the new phone used “Face ID.”
The Baby Shark: Why did the dad start singing about sharks in 2017? Because once it’s in your head, it’s a “fin-ished” deal.
The IT Movie: Why did the dad bring a red balloon to the office? He heard the “IT” department was having a clown problem.
The Fortnite: Why did the dad start building a fort in the living room? He heard his kids were spending a “Fort-nite” online.

The Full 2017 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Broom: Why did the broom win the 2017 award? It made a “clean sweep” of the competition.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a professional athlete? A “jock-bee.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to the bank? To get some “grind” money.
The Ghost’s Diet: Why do ghosts love diet soda? Because they want to stay “boo-tiful.”
The Empty Wallet: Why is my wallet like a library? Because everyone wants to “check out” what’s inside.
The Broken Fence: Why was the fence so happy? It was “well-supported.”
The Brave Sandwich: Why did the sandwich go to the gym? To get “crust-y.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-i-biotic.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so moody? It was under the “weather.”
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a mathematician? An “adder.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s always in a hurry? “Inst-ant.”
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants use cell phones? They’re afraid of the “trunk” calls.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a painter? “Pig-asso.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the woodpecker go to the doctor? He had a “splitting” headache.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a spy? A “croak-and-dagger” agent.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the band? He was great at “weaving” melodies.
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a genius? A “smart-ie” spaniel.
The Scared Tree: Why did the pine tree go to the barber? It needed to be “needled.”
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s always tired? “Slope-y.”
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get its “Bluetooth” checked.
The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the bank? To change its “quarters.”
The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “forks” in the road.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-ibiotic.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? “I-scream.”
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? It was “high” up in the company.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the mall? To find a new “web-site.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a sailor? A “sub-woofer.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
The Scared Baker: Why did the baker get arrested? He was caught “rolling” in the dough.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a king? A “wasp-er.”
The Fidget Spinner Hub: Why did the dad stay in the hardware store for three hours in 2017? Because he was trying to build the world’s first “ball-bearing” dad joke.