46 Original Dad Jokes: The 2014 “Ice Bucket” Edition

In 2014, the internet was one big splash zone. While your kids were busy challenging everyone to get soaked for charity or dancing to Pharrell Williams’ “Happy,” dads were busy making sure their humor stayed as “dry” as possible. This is the definitive collection of 2014 dad wit—perfectly timed for the era of smartwatches, “Let it Go” covers, and the rise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The 2014 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Ice Bucket Challenge: Why did the dad refuse to pour water over his head in 2014? Because he was already “swimming” in chores.
The Guardians of the Galaxy: What do you call a tree that’s a great dancer? “Groot”-y-shoes.
The 2048 Game: Why did the dad stop playing the number game? Because he couldn’t “add up” the time he was wasting.
The Pharrell Williams: Why was the dad so “Happy” in 2014? Because he finally found a hat big enough to hide his receding hairline.
The GoPro: Why did the dad strap a camera to his head while grilling? He wanted to have a “Pro” view of his burgers.
The Flappy Bird Removal: Why was the dad so sad when the bird game was deleted? Because it was the only thing “flying” in his house besides the dust.
The Interstellar: Why did the dad bring a corn cob to the movie theater? He heard it was a movie about “space” and “maize.”
The Selfie Stick: Why did the dad buy a long pole for his phone? He wanted to reach new “lengths” with his bad jokes.
The Kim Kardashian Paper: Why did the dad try to “break the internet” with a picture of his lawn? Because he thought it was “ground-breaking.”
The Smartwatch: Why did the dad’s watch go to school? It wanted to be a “smart”-er timekeeper.

The Full 2014 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Broom: Why did the broom go to the doctor? It had a “sweeping” infection.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a great singer? A “hum-dinger.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to the bank? To get some “grind” money.
The Ghost’s Diet: Why do ghosts love diet soda? Because they want to stay “boo-tifully” thin.
The Empty Cup: Why was the cup so quiet? It was “feeling” empty inside.
The Broken Clock: Why did the dad throw the clock out of the 2014 party? He wanted to see “time fly” into the new year.
The Brave Potato: Why did the potato go to school? To become a “smart-tater.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-i-dote.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost join the police? He wanted to “haunt” down criminals.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so happy? It was “mist” in love.
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a designer? A “boa” constructor.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s 100 years old? An “anti-que.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants never use computers? Because they’re afraid of the “mouse.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a genius? “Ham-stein.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the penguin go to the bank? To “freeze” his assets.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly-catcher.”
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the circus? He was a “web-obat.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a scientist? A “Beagle” assistant.
The Scared Tree: Why did the oak tree go to the dentist? It needed a “root” canal.
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s a comedian? “Hill-arious.”
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the tailor? To fix its “hard-wear.”
The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the party? It was “beaming” with pride.
The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “pave-ment” issues.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a scientist? An “ant-alyst.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite food? “Soul” food.
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? Because it was “cirrus-ly” talented.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the gym? To work on its “web” strength.
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a detective? “Sherlock Bones.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
The Cold Shower: Why did the dad stand in a cold shower for 10 minutes in 2014? He said he was preparing for the ultimate “Ice Bucket Challenge.”