57 Original Dad Jokes: The 2015 “The Dress” Edition

In 2015, the world couldn’t agree on anything—especially not the color of a dress. While your kids were busy debating “White and Gold” vs “Blue and Black” or watching the return of Han Solo, dads were busy making sure their humor stayed as “classic” as a pair of cargo shorts. This is the definitive collection of 2015 dad wit—perfectly timed for the era of the first Apple Watch, the “Dab” dance, and the rise of the streaming wars.

The 2015 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Dress Mystery: Why did the dad buy a white and gold shirt in 2015? Because his wife told him it was blue and black.
The Force Awakens: What do you call a dad who loves Star Wars? “A-pop-alyptic” (A-Papa-lyptic) about the new movie.
The Apple Watch: Why did the dad talk to his wrist for an hour? He heard his watch was “smart,” but he was still the one doing all the thinking.
The Selfie Stick: Why did the dad bring a 3-foot pole to the family reunion? He wanted to “extend” his fatherly reach.
The Inside Out: Why did the dad love the movie Inside Out? Because he finally found a way to blame his “Anger” on a tiny red guy.
The Jurassic World: Why did the dinosaurs get a job at the 2015 park? Because they were “extinct-ly” good at customer service.
The Hotline Bling: Why did the dad start dancing in the kitchen with his cell phone? He was practicing his “Hotline Puns.”
The Minions Movie: What do you call a dad who talks like a Minion? A “Banana-nana” (Ban-anna).
The Hoverboard: Why did the dad fall off the new motorized board? Because he heard it was a “hover”-board, but gravity had other plans.
The Windows 10: Why was the dad so happy with the new OS? Because he finally had “10” reasons to complain about his computer.

The Full 2015 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Broom: Why did the broom get a raise? It was doing a “sweeping” job.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a professional athlete? A “jock-bee.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to the bank? To get some “grind” money.
The Ghost’s Diet: Why do ghosts love diet soda? Because they want to stay “boo-tiful.”
The Empty Wallet: Why is my wallet like a library? Because everyone wants to “check out” what’s inside.
The Broken Fence: Why was the fence so happy? It was “well-supported.”
The Brave Sandwich: Why did the sandwich go to the gym? To get “crust-y.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-i-biotic.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so moody? It was under the “weather.”
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a mathematician? An “adder.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s always in a hurry? “Inst-ant.”
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants use cell phones? They’re afraid of the “trunk” calls.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a painter? “Pig-asso.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the woodpecker go to the doctor? He had a “splitting” headache.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a spy? A “croak-and-dagger” agent.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the band? He was great at “weaving” melodies.
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a genius? A “smart-ie” spaniel.
The Scared Tree: Why did the pine tree go to the barber? It needed to be “needled.”
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s always tired? “Slope-y.”
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get its “Bluetooth” checked.
The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the bank? To change its “quarters.”
The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “forks” in the road.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-ibiotic.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? “I-scream.”
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? It was “high” up in the company.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the mall? To find a new “web-site.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a sailor? A “sub-woofer.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
The Scared Baker: Why did the baker get arrested? He was caught “rolling” in the dough.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a king? A “wasp-er.”
The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the doctor? It had “asphalt” issues.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly” catcher.
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so angry? It was “storming” out.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the computer? To fix his “home-page.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a mechanic? A “bark-ing” brake expert.
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants go to the city? They’re afraid of the “trunk” traffic.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a soldier? A “ham-burger.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot go to the party? He wanted to “poly-socialize.”
The Color Debate: Why did the dad stay in bed all day in 2015? Because he couldn’t decide if his socks were white or “transparently” old.