36 Thanksgiving Jokes: The 2000 “Y2K Survival & PS2” Edition

In 2000, Thanksgiving was a victory lap. We survived the millennium bug, we were obsessed with “The Sims,” and we finally realized that the internet was here to stay—mostly for downloading low-quality music.

The 2000 Top 10: “Survivor & The Blue Screen of Life”

1. Y2K Survival: Why was Dad so smug during dinner? Because the power stayed on, the toaster didn’t revolt, and he finally had an excuse to eat the 40 cans of “survival beans” he bought in 1999.
2. The PlayStation 2 Launch: Why was the basement more crowded than the table? Because the PS2 just launched, and “playing a DVD” felt like a NASA-level technological achievement.
3. Survivor (Season 1): Why did the family vote Grandma off the table? Because she didn’t win the “Immunity Challenge” (which was finishing her Brussels sprouts), and the tribe had spoken.
4. The Florida Recount: Why did it take three weeks to find out who got the last piece of pie? Because the family had to perform a manual recount of the “hanging chads” on the napkin ballots.
5. The Sims: Why was the teenager ignoring everyone? Because she was too busy building a virtual family that actually listened to her and didn’t complain about the dry turkey.
6. Cast Away: Why did Dad start talking to a volleyball during the game? Because Tom Hanks convinced him that “Wilson” was a better conversationalist than the in-laws.
7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Why was the turkey green? It wasn’t—Mom just got too inspired by Jim Carrey’s makeup and decided the whole dinner needed a “Whoville” aesthetic.
8. Gladiator: Why did Uncle Jim stand up and scream, “Are you not entertained?!” Because he finished his entire plate in under four minutes and wanted a standing ovation.
9. The Nokia 3310: Why were the kids so focused? They weren’t texting; they were trying to beat their high score on Snake II, the most advanced mobile gaming experience of the millennium.
10. The Razor Scooter: Why was there a pile of bandages in the hallway? Because every cousin under the age of 15 had just spent the morning smashing their ankles with a foldable piece of aluminum.

The Full 2000 Thanksgiving Archive (Highlights)

11. Britney’s “Oops!… I Did It Again”: Why did Mom apologize for the burnt rolls? She didn’t—she just sang, “Oops, I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the… oven.”
12. Napster: Why was the internet so slow? Because the college kid was “sharing” the entire Beatles discography with 4 million strangers, one 128kbps file at a time.
13. X-Men: Why was the cousin wearing leather and staring at the salt shaker? Because he saw the movie and was convinced his “mutant power” was the ability to move seasoning with his mind.
14. The “Dot-Com” Bubble: Why was the “rich” uncle crying into his gravy? Because his “e-Turkey.com” stock just went from $100 a share to the price of a single cranberry.
15. Meet the Parents: Why was Grandpa so suspicious? Because after the movie, he spent the whole meal trying to “eye-spy” the boyfriend to see if he was in the “Circle of Trust.”
16. N’Sync’s “No Strings Attached”: Why was the turkey so loose? Because it was “Bye Bye Bye” to the twine, and the bird was dancing its way off the platter.
17. Scary Movie: Why was the dinner so meta? Because every time someone dropped a fork, three people pointed at it and shouted, “I know what you did last Thanksgiving!”
18. The USB Flash Drive: Why was the tech-uncle showing off a plastic stick? Because it held a whopping 8MB of data, and he told us we’d never need a floppy disk ever again.
19. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire: Why was the silence so tense? Because Dad asked Mom if she wanted more stuffing, and she said, “I’d like to use a Lifeline and call my sister.”
20. Dora the Explorer: Why was the toddler yelling at the map? Because the show premiered, and she was convinced that if she shouted “Swiper, no swiping!” the dog would stop stealing the rolls.
21. The Olympics (Sydney): Why was the dinner so “down under”? Because the uncle who visited Australia for the games wouldn’t stop saying “G’day” to the mashed potatoes.
22. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Why did the cat jump onto the chandelier? Because it was the year of wire-fu, and even the pets thought they could defy gravity.
23. Malcolm in the Middle: Why was the dinner so chaotic? Because every middle child in America finally felt seen, and they celebrated by making life miserable for the oldest and youngest.
24. High Fidelity: Why was the brother making a “Top 5 Side Dishes of All Time” list? Because John Cusack taught him that everything in life must be categorized by emotional preference.
25. The GPS (Selective Availability ended): Why did we actually find the house this year? Because the government turned off the “blur” on GPS, and Dad finally didn’t have to use a paper map that was 10 years out of date.
26. Almost Famous: Why was the teen girl acting like a “Band Aide”? Because she spent the whole meal talking about “the music, man” and why the gravy was “uncool.”
27. The 100th Anniversary of the Hamburger: Why did Uncle Dave bring White Castle to Thanksgiving? Because he said he was “celebrating a century of progress,” but we all knew he just forgot to cook his dish.
28. Final Destination: Why was everyone afraid to use the electric knife? Because after that movie, even a falling leaf felt like a complex plot by Death to ruin the holidays.
29. The “Wassup” Commercial: Why was the kitchen so loud? Because every man in the house was sticking their tongue out and shouting “WASSUUUPP” into their cordless phones.
30. Erin Brockovich: Why was Mom checking the water? Because Julia Roberts convinced her that the local utility company was probably trying to poison the turkey brine.
31. The DVD vs. DivX War: Why was the tech-cousin laughing? Because he had a pirated movie on a CD-R that looked like it was filmed through a screen door, and he called it “the future.”
32. Baha Men: Why was the dog so confused? Because everyone kept asking, “Who let the dogs out?!” and poor Buster just wanted a piece of turkey.
33. The PDA (Palm m100): Why was the aunt “tapping” a plastic screen? Because she was organizing her life one stylus-poke at a time, feeling like a high-tech CEO.
34. Charlie’s Angels: Why were the sisters posing in the hallway? Because the movie came out, and they were convinced that flipping their hair and pointing “finger guns” was a valid form of security.
35. The “New Millennium”: Why was the toast so long? Because Grandpa had to explain that “technically” the millennium didn’t start until 2001, but he was drinking 2000’s wine anyway.
36. The Final 2000 Vibe: Why was it so chill? Because we finally stopped worrying about the world ending and started worrying about how to get our “Sims” to go to the bathroom.