I told her I’m a hero. She said, “A hero doesn’t leave the toilet seat up at 3 AM.”
Part of the 64 Marriage Jokes: The 2019 “Endgame & TikTok” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025
1997 Joke: Before Marriage A Man
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about so...read more »
“All marriages are happy–it’s the living...
“All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that ...read more »
2006 Joke: Marriage Is Like A
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need i...read more »
2025 Classic: The Smart Toaster
It burned "I HATE YOU" into my toast. I told my wife she needs t...read more »
62 Marriage Jokes: The 2017 “Fidget Spinner & Bitcoin” Edition
In 2017, marriage was about the high-stakes diplomacy of investin...read more »
2025 Archive: The 2025 Wrap-up
We looked at our digital memories. 90% AI-generated, 10% us argu...read more »
The Thermostat Battle
The eternal struggle for the perfect indoor climate.Marriage is j...read more »
56 Marriage Jokes: The 2023 “Barbenheimer & AI” Edition
In 2023, marriage was about the high-stakes diplomacy of the "Bar...read more »
The Bed Space
A 50/50 split that feels more like 90/10.Marriage is a beautiful ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Cyber-Truck 2.0
It’s even more angular. My wife said it looks like a kitchen app...read more »
😜 More from category: The Marriage Humor Archive: 1995–2025
2025 Vintage: The Apple Glasses
My wife is wearing them while we eat. I asked what she’s looking...read more »
2024 Joke: Marriage Is When A
Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts w...read more »
2025 Archive: The Robot Butler
We got a bot to help with the chores. It refused to clean my off...read more »
64 Marriage Jokes: The 2007 “iPhone & Halo 3” Edition
In 2007, marriage was about the high-stakes transition from "dumb...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Uh-oh! Adding this to my status message right now.
/join #jokes... this one is the best so far.
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