2007 Vintage: The Retainer Fee

Why did the lawyer call it a “Smartphone Retainer”? Because the money disappears just as fast as the battery life on a 1st-gen iPhone.

🔥 Top 10: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

A masterclass in asking the right questions at the wrong time."Is...read more »

In 2023, the legal profession realized that the "Bar Exam" might ...read more »

A lawyer crossed the road to serve a subpoena to a "Fully Autono...read more »

A lawyer brought an "AI Empathy Detector" to court to prove the ...read more »

Why did the judge use a digital gavel? To "mute" any lawyer whos...read more »

Time is money, especially when it’s someone else’s time.A lawyer ...read more »

In 2025, "I think, therefore I bill" became the industry's offici...read more »

Why was the firm's AI decommissioned? It refused to overcharge a...read more »

The most 2025 thing a lawyer did was bill a client for "Time spe...read more »

Professional courtesy exists even in the deepest parts of the oce...read more »

In 2002, "accountability" became the new buzzword, which ironical...read more »

Why was the lawyer happy? He could now receive a "guilty" verdic...read more »

A mathematical tragedy involving a full bus and a missed opportun...read more »

The upfront cost of a good (or bad) defense.My lawyer told me my ...read more »

@Burning_CDs01/04/1997 09:07I am making a mix CD of jokes. This is track 1!

@Dial_Up_King09/30/2015 04:35Loading... 50%... 75%... HA! Worth the wait.

@Pentium_Power07/27/2011 12:50My processor can barely handle this much humor!

@Jesus_Quintana12/28/2014 18:44Nobody fucks with the Jesus! (Great joke).

@Dodgeball_Pat04/24/1997 21:38If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bad joke.

@Search_Scout_9904/10/2002 15:25Scouting the web for gems like this.

@Xanga_Skin_Maker03/30/2010 07:07This joke fits my Xanga theme perfectly.