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The Billable Hour

Time is money, especially when it’s someone else’s time.

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. “I’m too young!” he cries. “I’m only 45!” God looks at his records and says, “According to your billing hours, you’re at least 95.”

🔥 Top 10: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Classic: The Joker 2 Suit
 A lawyer represented Harley Quinn to sue the Joker for "failure ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Coffee Price
 A lawyer sued the $30 "Robot-Pressed" coffee. He argued the robo...read more »
2025 Archive: The Prompt Audit
 A lawyer was sued for "negligent prompting" after his AI-generat...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Legacy
 The most 2025 thing a lawyer did was bill a client for "Time spe...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Power Move
 A lawyer walked into court with a legal pad, just to intimidate ...read more »
52 Lawyer Jokes: The 2012 “Apocalypse & Swipe Right” Edition
In 2012, the legal world was split between filing "End of the Wor...read more »
46 Lawyer Jokes: The 2001 “Shredders & Shell Companies” Edition
In 2001, the "Dot-com" party was officially over, replaced by the...read more »
48 Lawyer Jokes: The 1996 “Fax Machines & Fine Print” Edition
In 1996, the legal world went digital—sort of. If you didn’t have...read more »
The Inheritance Tax
Making sure the family gets their fair share... of the bill.Where...read more »
44 Lawyer Jokes: The 2024 “Deepfake Elections & Spatial Billing” Edition
In 2024, the "Reasonable Person" standard was replaced by the "Is...read more »

😜 More from category: The Lawyer Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Legacy: The Lab Rat (25 Edition)
 Scientists used lawyers for a "Simulated Reality" study. The law...read more »
52 Lawyer Jokes: The 2020 “Zoom Court & Force Majeure” Edition
In 2020, the legal world went remote. It was the year of the "Vir...read more »
45 Lawyer Jokes: The 2006 “Twitter Launch & Merger Mania” Edition
In 2006, the legal world learned to be concise. With Twitter’s la...read more »
2025 Archive: The Robot Associate
 Why did the robot associate quit? It realized that even with a p...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Quake_Fragger04/08/2005 10:13M-M-M-MONSTER JOKE!
@Diablo_Cow_Level06/12/2013 06:16There is no cow level, but there is this joke!
@ChatRoom_Queen12/13/1997 08:03A/S/L? Just kidding, great joke! LOL!
@Frasier_Crane12/20/2004 00:59I am listening... and I am laughing.
@Liger_Owner_X01/17/2013 07:39It’s pretty much my favorite joke. It’s a Liger!
@Lulz_Sec_Ghost03/30/2015 20:40Laughing at the security of my own ribs!
@Last_Commenter05/20/1999 09:06Saving the best laugh for last!

Yearly Joke Archive

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Human Humor: Eco

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