Why was the 2025 Inauguration so bright? Because even the sun knew that if it didn’t show up, the new Department of Efficiency would try… Read More »2025 Classic: The Inauguration 2.0 Weather

Why are the briefings so short? Because the Press Secretary realized that “Check the President’s X feed” is a complete answer to every question. Part… Read More »2025 Archive: The “Fake News” Part 5

Why are Cabinet meetings now on X? So the American people can watch their government get “disrupted” in real-time between ads for supplements and electric… Read More »2025 Vintage: The “Live-Streamed” Cabinet

Why is everyone eating raw milk and sunshine? To show that in 2025, the “FDA” is just a suggestion from a guy who once found… Read More »2025 Archive: The “RFK Jr. Health” Initiative

Why is Vivek Ramaswamy everywhere? To prove that in 2025, the best way to get a government job is to talk faster than the person… Read More »2025 Vintage: The Vivek Effect

Why is the slogan still a hit? Because it’s the only “Sequel” in 2025 that people actually wanted to pay to see. Part of the… Read More »2025 Vintage: The “America First” (Again, Again)

Why did the President order federal workers back to their desks? Because it’s much harder to “Drain the Swamp” if everyone is working from their… Read More »2025 Archive: The “No More Remote Work” Order

Why is the President looking at Jerome Powell? To see if “Interest Rates” can be lowered by the power of a very stern look. Part… Read More »2025 Classic: The “Federal Reserve” Staredown

Why is the U.S. Treasury buying Bitcoin? So that when the dollar has a bad day, the President can just tweet a “Diamond Hands” emoji… Read More »2025 Classic: The Bitcoin Reserve

Why is the White House switching to a new smartphone? So the President can tweet from the shower without worrying about “Water Damage” or “Encryption.”… Read More »2025 Classic: The “X” Phone