2017 Legacy: The High-Top Valve Click
A young usher causing a faint, rhythmic clicking sound down the main carpeted aisle because he forgot to lock the air valves on his basketball… Read More »2017 Legacy: The High-Top Valve Click
2016 Classic: The “Night Vision” GPNVG-18
Why do they look like spiders? To give the Special Ops guys the “Cool Factor” and a massive chiropractor bill. Part of the 36 Military… Read More »2016 Classic: The “Night Vision” GPNVG-18
2016 Classic: Westworld (Debut)
Why were the cowboys so existential? Because “these violent delights have violent ends,” and half the guests weren’t sure if they were humans or hosts.… Read More »2016 Classic: Westworld (Debut)
2016 Classic: The “My House” Flo Rida
Welcome to his house. You don’t need a key to get in, but you probably need a drink. Part of the 79 Observational One-Liners: The… Read More »2016 Classic: The “My House” Flo Rida
2015 Classic: The A$AP Rocky “At.Long.Last.A$AP”
Why the psychedelic rap? For Rocky proving that “Lord Pretty Flacko Jodye” was the most stylish man in hip-hop. Part of the 42 Musician &… Read More »2015 Classic: The A$AP Rocky “At.Long.Last.A$AP”
2015 Classic: The Launch of the Tesla Model X
Why did the doors open like wings? Because Elon Musk wanted a car that could “dance” and look cool in a parking lot, even if… Read More »2015 Classic: The Launch of the Tesla Model X
2015 Legacy: The Movie Ticket Bookmark
Opening a heavy pew Bible to look up a reference in the Old Testament and finding a glossy ticket stub from a winter screening of… Read More »2015 Legacy: The Movie Ticket Bookmark
2014 Classic: The Chromecast “Guest Mode”
Why was the TV showing a stranger’s vacation photos? Because the guest Wi-Fi was “too friendly.” Part of the 74 Office Groaners: The 2014 “Ice… Read More »2014 Classic: The Chromecast “Guest Mode”
2014 Vintage: Cameron Diaz’s Worst Year
Why did she win Worst Actress? For The Other Woman and Sex Tape—proving that in 2014, she was the undisputed queen of movies you only watch because you’re… Read More »2014 Vintage: Cameron Diaz’s Worst Year
2013 Archive: The LCD Monitor Polish
Spraying a thick layer of lemon-scented furniture wax directly onto the plastic frame of a flat-screen computer monitor to make it match the heavy oak… Read More »2013 Archive: The LCD Monitor Polish