A guy is staring at his phone, sweating. The bartender asks, “Financial crisis?” The guy says, “No, I’ve got four greens and I’m on my last try. If the word is ‘DRUNK’, I’m going to lose my mind.”
Part of the 53 Bar Jokes: The 2022 “Elon Buys Twitter & Top Gun” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
2025 Classic: The Analog Whiskey
A guy asks for the "Analog Whiskey." The bartender hands him a g...read more »
The Two Guys
The third guy is always the smartest.Two guys walk into a bar. Th...read more »
76 Bar Jokes: The 1998 “Big Lebowski & Swing Revival” Edition
In 1998, bar culture felt like a time machine. One corner of the ...read more »
2024 Archive: The B-52
"Light it up like a rocket to the moon."Part of the 58 Bar Jokes...read more »
55 Bar Jokes: The 2020 “Quarantine & Zoom Bar” Edition
In 2020, the bar moved from the corner of the street to the corne...read more »
2025 Classic: The Self-Driving Tab
A guy gets kicked out for being too drunk. He says, "It’s okay! ...read more »
The Schrödinger Cat
The most famous cat in science makes an appearance.Schrödinger’s ...read more »
56 Bar Jokes: The 1995 “Neon Signs & Jukebox” Edition
In 1995, bar humor was built on the classic "A guy walks into a b...read more »
56 Bar Jokes: The 2014 “Ice Bucket Challenge & World Cup” Edition
In 2014, the bar was a place where you didn't just drink—ids you ...read more »
The Skeleton Order
A spooky visitor with a very specific thirst.A skeleton walks int...read more »
😜 More from category: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025
30 Bar Jokes: The 2025 “Reality Is Premium” Edition
In 2025, the bar is the only place left where you can be sure the...read more »
2024 Archive: The Twisters
A guy walks in and says, "You don't face a storm, you ride it!" ...read more »
The "Just One Drink"
The biggest lie ever told in the history of bars."Just one drink"...read more »
The Giraffe Problem
Tall tales from the savanna to the tavern.A giraffe walks into a ...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Tell me what you want, what you really really want... more jokes!
Trust no one... except the guy who wrote this.
Get in loser, we are going laughing!
I’m Tom and I think this joke is cool!
What a feeling! (Being funny).
I have the voice of an angel... and the laugh of a hyena.
My mind is blown by how funny this is.
I see what you did there. Clever!