2015 Archive: The Scared Tree

Why did the pine tree go to the barber? It needed to be “needled.”

🔥 Top 10: The Dad Joke Archive (1995-2025)

In 2009, the world was changing. While everyone was busy creating...read more »

Kid: I had a thought. Dad: I thought I smelled something burning...read more »

Kid: What time is it? Dad: Time to get a watch!read more »

Q: Why did that new restaurant on the moon close after a few mont...read more »

It was two tired.read more »

Kid: Did you get a haircut? Dad: No, I got them all cut!read more »

Because then it would be a foot.read more »

Q: What did the photon say to the hotel bellhop? A: No luggage, ...read more »

Because they’re shellfish.read more »

In 2018, the "Snap" changed the universe, but it didn't change yo...read more »

Kid: Dad, how do I look? Dad: With your eyes.read more »

In 2021, we were all a little stuck—much like a giant cargo ship ...read more »

Because they make up everything.read more »

Because she will let it go.read more »

@MIRC_Ghost05/30/2001 12:47Slapping you with a large trout for such a funny joke!

@USB_Pioneer10/22/2003 06:00Plug and Play laughter!

@Butthead_Uhhh01/16/2004 13:27Uhhh... that was cool. Huh huh huh.

@Anchorman_Ron04/10/1998 23:48I’m kind of a big deal. People know my jokes.

@Brennan_Huff_X07/27/2014 01:58I have the voice of an angel... and the laugh of a hyena.

@Netscape_Now_B08/22/2011 23:31I clicked the button and it brought me here!

@Charlie_Unicorn07/24/2011 16:59We’re going to Candy Mountain... to laugh!

@Wall_Post_Hero09/06/2005 06:53Posting this to my own wall right now!