61 Original Dad Jokes: The 2018 “Infinity Puns” Edition

In 2018, the “Snap” changed the universe, but it didn’t change your dad’s sense of humor. While kids were busy doing the “Floss” dance in every grocery store aisle and everyone was listening to “Baby Shark” on repeat, dads were busy mastering the art of the 2018 groan-worthy pun. This is the definitive collection of 2018 wit—guaranteed to be more balanced than anything Thanos ever planned.

The 2018 Top 10: Golden Classics

The Infinity War: Why did Thanos get kicked out of the kitchen? He kept trying to “snap” his fingers to make the dishes disappear.
The Floss Dance: Why did the dad go to the dentist to learn a new dance? He heard everyone was doing the “Floss.”
The Fortnite Emotes: Why was the dad so good at dancing in 2018? Because he’s been practicing “default” movements for 40 years.
The Alexa: Why did the dad start arguing with a speaker? Because Alexa was the only one in the house who actually listened to him.
The Black Panther: What do you call a dad who lives in Wakanda? “Pop-kanda Forever!”
The Tide Pod Challenge: Why did the dad hide the laundry detergent? Because he heard the kids were trying to turn “chores” into “snacks.”
The Incredibles 2: Why was the dad so happy about the new movie? Because it only took 14 years for his “super” family to finally listen to him.
The Elon Musk Space Tesla: Why did the dad throw his car keys at the moon? He wanted to start his own “Space-X” program in the backyard.
The Bohemian Rhapsody: Why did the dad start singing “Mama Mia” in the middle of the movie? Because he was having a “Queen” sized mid-life crisis.
The Royal Wedding: Why did the dad wear a crown to the 2018 barbecue? Because he heard Harry and Meghan were looking for a new “grill-master.”

The Full 2018 Archive (Extended List)

The Brave Broom: Why did the broom go to the 2018 party? To sweep the dance floor.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a professional athlete? A “jock-bee.”
The Skateboard: Why did the skateboard go to the bank? To get some “grind” money.
The Ghost’s Diet: Why do ghosts love diet soda? Because they want to stay “boo-tiful.”
The Empty Wallet: Why is my wallet like a library? Because everyone wants to “check out” what’s inside.
The Broken Fence: Why was the fence so happy? It was “well-supported.”
The Brave Sandwich: Why did the sandwich go to the gym? To get “crust-y.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-i-biotic.”
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so moody? It was under the “weather.”
The Scared Snake: What do you call a snake that’s a mathematician? An “adder.”
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s always in a hurry? “Inst-ant.”
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants use cell phones? They’re afraid of the “trunk” calls.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a painter? “Pig-asso.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the woodpecker go to the doctor? He had a “splitting” headache.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a spy? A “croak-and-dagger” agent.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider join the band? He was great at “weaving” melodies.
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a genius? A “smart-ie” spaniel.
The Scared Tree: Why did the pine tree go to the barber? It needed to be “needled.”
The Little Mountain: What do you call a hill that’s always tired? “Slope-y.”
The Scared Computer: Why did the computer go to the dentist? To get its “Bluetooth” checked.
The Little Star: Why did the moon go to the bank? To change its “quarters.”
The Scared Road: Why was the highway so stressed? It had too many “forks” in the road.
The Little Ant: What do you call an ant that’s a doctor? An “ant-ibiotic.”
The Scared Ghost: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? “I-scream.”
The Little Cloud: Why did the cloud get a promotion? It was “high” up in the company.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the mall? To find a new “web-site.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a sailor? A “sub-woofer.”
The Scared Elephant: Why do elephants have trunks? Because they don’t have “glove compartments.”
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a baker? A “pie-thon.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the owl get fired? He didn’t “whoo” the boss.
The Bank Vault: Why did the dad bring a pillow to the bank? He wanted to “rest” his account.
The Coffee Bean: Why was the coffee bean so tired? It was “roasted” all day.
The Gym Socks: Why did the gym socks go to the party? They wanted to “smell” the fun.
The Little Sun: Why did the sun go to the doctor? It was feeling “light-headed.”
The Scared Baker: Why did the baker get arrested? He was caught “rolling” in the dough.
The Little Bee: What do you call a bee that’s a king? A “wasp-er.”
The Scared Road: Why did the road go to the doctor? It had “asphalt” issues.
The Little Frog: What do you call a frog that’s a pilot? A “fly” catcher.
The Scared Ghost: Why did the ghost go to the gym? To work on his “dead” lift.
The Little Cloud: Why was the cloud so angry? It was “storming” out.
The Scared Spider: Why did the spider go to the computer? To fix his “home-page.”
The Little Dog: What do you call a dog that’s a mechanic? A “bark-ing” brake expert.
The Scared Elephant: Why don’t elephants go to the city? They’re afraid of the “trunk” traffic.
The Little Pig: What do you call a pig that’s a soldier? A “ham-burger.”
The Scared Bird: Why did the parrot go to the party? He wanted to “poly-socialize.”
The Bank Statement: Why did the dad stare at his bank account? He was trying to “balance” his life.
The Coffee Maker: Why was the coffee maker so proud? It was “brewing” something special.
The Gym Locker: Why did the locker go to school? To get “smarter” about safety.
The Little Moon: Why did the moon go to the dentist? To get its “craters” filled.
The Perfect Snap: Why did the dad’s fingers hurt at the end of 2018? Because he spent the whole year trying to “snap” his kids back into reality.