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Home » The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2012 Archive: The New Year’s Resolution

2012 Archive: The New Year’s Resolution

 “In 2013, I’m going to stop doing the horse dance. Maybe.”

Part of the 52 Bar Jokes: The 2012 “End of the World & Gangnam Style” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Legacy: The Bar Snack
 "Are these peanuts AI-optimized for crunchiness?"Part of the 58 ...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Neuralink Slip
 A guy walks in and the bartender immediately hands him a tequila...read more »
The "Just One Drink"
The biggest lie ever told in the history of bars."Just one drink"...read more »
2025 Archive: The Turing Test
 A guy walks into a bar and asks the girl next to him, "Are you r...read more »
54 Bar Jokes: The 2011 “Royal Wedding & Skyrim” Edition
In 2011, you couldn't escape the "Hipster" takeover. Bars started...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Ending
 "Next year is 2026! I hear they're finally going to release a ph...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 2025 Music
 The AI-DJ creates a song based on the bar's current mood. It’s m...read more »
2024 Legacy: The AI-Generated Menu
 "Why is there a 'Liquid hallucination' on the list?" "The comput...read more »
2024 Legacy: The Draft Beer
 "100% human-poured and carbonated."Part of the 58 Bar Jokes: The...read more »
78 Bar Jokes: The 2007 “iPhone & Mad Men” Edition
In 2007, the bar scene was split in two. Half the room was orderi...read more »

😜 More from category: The Bar Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Archive: The Fallout TV Show
 A guy walks in and asks for a Nuka-Cola. The bartender gives him...read more »
The Past Tense
Grammar humor for the more sophisticated drinker.The past, presen...read more »
67 Bar Jokes: The 2000 “New Millennium & Reality TV” Edition
In 2000, the bar was the only place to process the fact that the ...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Space Tourist
 A guy walks in with zero-gravity hair and says, "The Guinness po...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@AskJeeves_Fan11/14/2001 13:48Jeeves really delivered a good one today.
@X-Gen_Mark02/07/2013 05:25This is exactly the kind of humor we needed in the 90s.
@Clueless_Dionne03/11/2010 17:55Totally buggin’! This is hilarious.
@Zip_Drive_Owner09/08/2015 04:30Click of death? No, click of laughter!
@Tyler_Durden_Real05/04/2005 16:43Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
@Requiem_Dreamer09/23/2002 08:06That was intense... and funny!
@Fifth_Element_Lelu04/21/1995 15:41Multipass! For the comedy club!
@Shagadelic_9704/17/2001 22:32This joke is very shagadelic, man!
@Xanga_Skin_Maker10/03/1996 14:28This joke fits my Xanga theme perfectly.
@Lag_Victim_0109/12/2010 06:07I... laughed... with... a... bit... of... lag!

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