1997 Classic: The Lab Result

“I have the results of your DNA test,” the doctor said. “It turns out you’re 50% patient, 50% insurance paperwork, and 100% broke.”

🔥 Top 10: The Doctor Joke Archive: 1995–2025

"You stop breathing." "I’m just 'Stand-by' mode to save power."Pa...read more »

Getting paid to do what we do best... or trying to.I went for a s...read more »

Seeing right through the patient’s excuses.The doctor looked at m...read more »

A painful lesson in following the doctor's orders."Doctor, will I...read more »

A clever way to find out who’s really listening at home.A man thi...read more »

"Is this pill 'Smart'?" "It’s smarter than the doctor who prescri...read more »

I asked for the latest weight-loss pill. The doctor said, "This o...read more »

A medical breakthrough that comes with a small side effect."Docto...read more »

I asked if they cover 'Neural-Glitches'. They said, "Only if you ...read more »

I went to a 'Longevity Architect'. He told me my life is a "fixer...read more »

"Your bones are 100% organic. That’s very rare in 2025."Part of t...read more »

In 1996, medical humor evolved with the growing dominance of HMOs...read more »

My doctor told me I’ll live to 120 if I upload my consciousness t...read more »

Trust is key when you’re going under the knife.My surgeon told me...read more »

@Oregon_Trail_Survivor01/05/2001 03:41You have died of dysentery... and laughter!

@Winamp_Skin_Maker01/08/2007 23:13Llama approved! This joke really whips!

@Pulp_Fiction_Jules03/05/2010 16:59Say "what" again! I dare you! LOL.

@Cipher_Steak01/28/2003 02:23Ignorance is bliss, but this joke is better.

@Oracle_Says04/04/1999 10:51I knew you’d laugh at this.

@Trainspotting_Rent11/02/2004 22:50Choose life. Choose a joke.

@Hansel_So_Hot02/14/2003 18:14That Hansel... he’s so hot right now. Just like this joke.

@Grinds_My_Gears08/01/1999 07:44You know what really grinds my gears? Bad humor. This is good!

@Fire_Background09/21/1999 03:32This page is HOT! (Literally, the background is fire).