Why did the dad run to the finish line at the end of 2024? Because he heard he was “one year closer” to retirement and even more dad jokes.
Part of the 49 Original Dad Jokes: The 2024 “Olympic Spirit” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Dad Joke Archive (1995-2025)
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re shellfish.read more »
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.read more »
Kid: Dad, how do I look?...
Kid: Dad, how do I look?
Dad: With your eyes.read more »
Kid: Can you put my shoes...
Kid: Can you put my shoes on?
Dad: No, I don't think they'll fit...read more »
Dad: Is anyone here capable of...
Dad: Is anyone here capable of putting their shoes on in a timely...read more »
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.read more »
52 Original Dad Jokes: The 2005 "Tube-ular" Edition
In 2005, the digital landscape changed forever with the launch of...read more »
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.read more »
57 Original Dad Jokes: The 2015 "The Dress" Edition
In 2015, the world couldn't agree on anything—especially not the ...read more »
😜 More from category: The Dad Joke Archive (1995-2025)
Kid: Did you get a haircut?...
Kid: Did you get a haircut?
Dad: No, I got them all cut!read more »
Why did the power go out at the school?
The students were too bright.read more »
54 Essential Dad Jokes: The 1997 "Titanic" Edition
Welcome to 1997. If you weren't busy trying to keep your Tamagotc...read more »
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Groovy, baby! Very groovy.
My computer froze but the joke was worth the reboot.
Ordered a pizza and read this. Best night ever.
Have you tried turning your sense of humor off and on again?
I’m scanning this into my brain forever.
128kbps of pure comedy gold.
High five for this joke!
Succeeding you, father... in laughing!
Tapping my way to a good mood.