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Home » The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2024 Legacy: The “Bio-Metric” ID 2.0

2024 Legacy: The “Bio-Metric” ID 2.0

Why the palm scan? To make sure that the person holding the rifle is the same person who was authorized to hold it 10 minutes ago.

Part of the 35 Military Jokes: The 2024 “Thermite Dragons & Jamming Junkies” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

31 Military Jokes: The 2020 “Tactical Masks & Quarantined Carriers” Edition
In 2020, the military realized that you can have the most advance...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Information Operations" AI-Wars
Why 2024? Because "Propaganda" is now 90% bots arguing with other...read more »
2024 Vintage: The F-35 "TR-3" Software
Why was the "Lightning II" sitting on the tarmac? Because it was ...read more »
2024 Classic: The "Strategic" Silence on Space War
Why so quiet? Because the first rule of "Satellite Tag" is that n...read more »
2025 Legacy: The MRE "Synthesized Steak"
Why did it taste like plastic? Because in 2025, even the food is ...read more »
2023 Classic: The 2023 Final Vibe
Why was it the "Year of the Drone"? Because from the "Kremlin Roo...read more »
2024 Classic: The "Total Force" Burnout
Why the Guard? Because they’ve spent more time on "Active Duty" i...read more »
38 Military Jokes: The 1999 “Targeting & Timeline” Edition
In 1999, the military was living on the edge of a digital apocaly...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Strategic" Silence on Mars
Why so quiet? Because the first rule of "Martian Recon" is that w...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Virtual" Veteran
Why was the 2025 parade on the "Metaverse"? Because it’s the only...read more »

😜 More from category: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Vintage: The "Black Sea" Evacuation
Why did the Russian Navy move to Novorossiysk? To prove that "Com...read more »
33 Military Jokes: The 2012 “Mayan Apocalypse & Budget Cuts” Edition
In 2012, the military survived the supposed Mayan end of the worl...read more »
37 Military Jokes: The 2013 “Snowden Leaks & Stealth Drones” Edition
In 2013, the military realized that the "Eye in the Sky" was also...read more »
32 Military Jokes: The 2025 “Autonomous Swarms & AI Overlords” Edition
In 2025, the military realized that if your AI doesn't have "Edge...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Lycos_Dog11/19/1999 00:30Go fetch more jokes like this! Woof!
@Lord_Of_The_Rings11/27/2000 08:33One joke to rule them all!
@Finding_Nemo_Dory09/03/1999 11:53Just keep laughing, just keep laughing.
@Snatch_Mickey03/09/2009 11:15Do ya like dags? And jokes?
@Rugrats_Tommy01/23/2010 07:20A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do. Laugh!
@Woman_Yelling_C09/02/1998 14:16The cat is just sitting there laughing!
@Flash_Intro_Hater05/28/2008 16:57Finally a site without a 2-minute Flash intro!
@Lag_Victim_0110/01/2007 17:29I... laughed... with... a... bit... of... lag!

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