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Home » The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2009 Vintage: The “Bio-Metric” Handhelds

2009 Vintage: The “Bio-Metric” Handhelds

Why were they failing? Because it’s hard to scan an iris when the “Subject” is blinking and you’re both standing in a dust storm.

Part of the 39 Military Jokes: The 2009 “Afghan Surge & Predator Politics” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

35 Military Jokes: The 2000 “New Millennium & Old Problems” Edition
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2024 Vintage: The F-35 "TR-3" Software
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2024 Archive: The "Bio-Metric" Deepfakes
Why did the guard fail the scan? Because the "Infiltrator" used a...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2008 “Flying Shoes & Georgian Grinders” Edition
In 2008, the military was caught between a global recession and a...read more »
2025 Vintage: The "Contractor" in Orbit
Why the high pay? Because "Space Security" in 2025 requires a lot...read more »
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2025 Archive: The "Strategic" Silence on Mars
Why so quiet? Because the first rule of "Martian Recon" is that w...read more »
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⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Zelda_Link07/21/2003 21:59It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this joke.
@X-Files_Spooky10/05/2012 01:29I want to believe... that everyone finds this funny.
@Lara_Croft_9609/05/2005 13:00Found a real treasure with this one.
@Nsync_Justin11/01/2011 02:19Bye bye bye... to my bad mood!
@Sk8ter_Boi_Avril04/13/1998 07:16He was a funny boy, she said see you later boy!
@Starship_Troopers12/05/1995 01:54I’m doing my part! Are you? (Laughing).
@Karate_Kid_Wax04/19/2008 00:55Wax on, wax off... laugh on, laugh off.
@Arthur_Fist_Fan05/25/2006 09:26My fist is clenched... with joy!
@IMVU_Chatter11/17/2011 09:193D laughs are the best!

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