Skip to content
Home » The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2025 Classic: The “Bio-Metric” 4.0

2025 Classic: The “Bio-Metric” 4.0

Why did the scanner reject the Lieutenant? Because the AI determined his “Stress Level” was too high to be trusted with a laser pointer.

Part of the 32 Military Jokes: The 2025 “Autonomous Swarms & AI Overlords” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

39 Military Jokes: The 2003 “Shock, Awe & Mission (Un)accomplished” Edition
In 2003, the military proved it could conquer a country in three ...read more »
2023 Vintage: The "Information Operations" Telegram War
Why 2023? Because the "Official Briefing" was always 6 hours behi...read more »
34 Military Jokes: The 2002 “Axis of Evil & Anaconda Boots” Edition
In 2002, the military was busy trying to find a needle in a hayst...read more »
2025 Vintage: The "Contractor" in Orbit
Why the high pay? Because "Space Security" in 2025 requires a lot...read more »
2024 Legacy: The MRE "Pizza" (2024 Patch)
Why is it still the baseline? Because in a world of AI and hypers...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Virtual" Veteran
Why was the 2025 parade on the "Metaverse"? Because it’s the only...read more »
2024 Vintage: The "GPS" Spoofing over Israel
Why did everyone's Tinder say they were in Cairo? To prove that "...read more »
38 Military Jokes: The 2018 “Space Force & Strava Maps” Edition
In 2018, the military realized that "Operational Security" (OPSEC...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2024 “Thermite Dragons & Jamming Junkies” Edition
In 2024, the military realized that if your equipment isn't "EW-H...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Stryker" with a Directed-Energy Weapon
Why the big lens? To prove that the "Future of War" is basically ...read more »

😜 More from category: The Military Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Classic: The A-50 "Disappearing Act"
Why did the Russian Early Warning planes start retiring early in ...read more »
33 Military Jokes: The 2012 “Mayan Apocalypse & Budget Cuts” Edition
In 2012, the military survived the supposed Mayan end of the worl...read more »
2024 Vintage: The "Hearts and Minds" 2024
Why the "Signal-Aid"? Because providing a "Secure VPN" is the new...read more »
35 Military Jokes: The 2008 “Flying Shoes & Georgian Grinders” Edition
In 2008, the military was caught between a global recession and a...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@ICQ_Flower09/01/2012 00:32The green petal is glowing! New joke!
@Gopher_Explorer01/03/2002 10:06Deep in the menus and found this gem.
@Blue_Screen_Survivor09/02/2005 18:19At least it is not a fatal exception! LOL.
@Seinfeld_Fan_Club12/20/2001 14:34A joke about nothing? Love it!
@Jurassic_Park_Grant06/19/2000 04:16They do move in herds... funny jokes!
@CRT_Degauss05/20/1999 12:35BWONGGGG! My monitor just vibrated from that laugh.
@CatDog_Alone09/02/1995 08:18One fine day with a woof and a purr... we laughed!
@Retweet_King03/07/2008 17:53RT if you think this is funny!

Yearly Joke Archive

Leave a Reply

Human Humor: Eco

We use 0% cookies and no tracking. Saving energy and protecting your privacy.