2018 Vintage: The Mortal Engines
I told her I’m a moving city. She said, “You’re a ‘stagnant’ city—move the lawnmower.” Part of the 66 Marriage Jokes: The 2018 “Fortnite &… Read More »2018 Vintage: The Mortal Engines
2017 Archive: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
Printing the final annual parish budget summary on eye-searing, neon-green copy paper so that no family can claim they mistook the serious multi-thousand-dollar church deficit… Read More »2017 Archive: The Neon Paper Financial Summary
2015 Classic: The Closing Argument
Why did the lawyer cross the road? To serve a subpoena to the chicken’s “Apple Watch health data.” Part of the 44 Lawyer Jokes: The… Read More »2015 Classic: The Closing Argument
2014 Classic: The Twitch Plays Pokemon Crowd
50,000. They all try to screw it in at once and end up releasing the bulb into the wild. Part of the 66 Light Bulb… Read More »2014 Classic: The Twitch Plays Pokemon Crowd
2014 Legacy: The Aphex Twin “Syro” Return
Why the blimp? For the electronic legend returning after 13 years with an album that sounded like a beautiful computer malfunction. Part of the 42… Read More »2014 Legacy: The Aphex Twin “Syro” Return
2014 Vintage: The John Wick Dog
Why did the bad guys mess with him? Because they didn’t realize that in 2014, Keanu Reeves was one puppy away from ending the entire… Read More »2014 Vintage: The John Wick Dog
2014 Archive: The Space
I “need” more space for my high-res photos. Part of the 111 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Ice Bucket & Interstellar Edition (2014) archive. Historically Verified
2014 Vintage: The “Left Shark” Anticipation
Why was the marketing team obsessed with sea life? (Wait, that’s early 2015—let’s stick to the Ice Buckets). Part of the 74 Office Groaners: The… Read More »2014 Vintage: The “Left Shark” Anticipation
2012 Classic: The Graduation
What do you call a lawyer who specialized in “Mayan Apocalypse Law”? “A guy who had a very busy December and a very quiet January.”… Read More »2012 Classic: The Graduation
2012 Archive: The Trash Can
I’m “recycling” old Mayan jokes. Part of the 134 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Apocalypse & Gangnam Style Edition (2012) archive. Historically Verified